An Article of Faith

Nobody likes a good conspiracy story any more than I do. Add to that, there is nothing, NOTHING, I’d put past the right wing’s greed for money and power. Just look at Bush-Cheney’s inhuman deliberate trading of blood for oil, for instance. But would conservatives actually stoop to, let’s say, murder?

Sure. Why not? Draft-dodger Dick Cheney didn’t do anything but sneer about the deaths of American soldiers who lost their lives in unspeakable agony as a result of Haliburton’s faulty (but profitably money-saving) wiring of our troops’ showers in Iraq. The fact that he didn’t even bother to deny the cause of those deaths gives history the clearest evidence of how truly unimportant the lives of Americans were, and are, to greedy right-wingers like Cheney, Bush, Rumsfeld, Rove, Murdoch, and the entire conservative noise machine.

Take Limbaugh. You think Good Ol’ Boy Rush really cares how many dedicated, courageous Americans die while he stuffs his face with oxycontin?

You think Hannity really gives a rat’s ass whether thousands of young Americans face a lifetime without arms or legs or sight or sanity? Sean Hannity never served, and never will, so as long as he gets to keep making the big bucks selling his loony books and declaring who’s a, “Great American,” what’s the big deal if a few (black, brown, Asian, Iraqi, Palistinian, Jewish, women, children, infants) die?

Compassion? You mean the kind Glenn Beck fakes with such transparent theatricality as he sells his amateurish act to the deluded lemmings who watch Fox Fake News for what they wrongfully assume is the, “truth”? You think Beck has any idea of what a real war is? Or real honor? Or what real hardships are? Don’t be silly, Glenn hasn’t got time, he’s busy making his motherlode of coin with childish performances geared specifically toward the pack mentality of ignorant audiences: the specialty, the signature, of Fox Fake News.

You think fake journalist Bill O’Reilly really cares more about the safety of our troops than the sale of his self-congratulating right-wing propaganda books?

And what about O’Reilly’s “alone time” fantasy, fake writer Ann Coulter? Can you imagine her piggish self-interest in social climbing the dregs of Long Island society has anything at all to do with genuine patriotism? Of course not, not if you’re sane. Coulter, the male version of fake intellectual Michael Savage (nee Wiener), thinks war is just dandy and hunger is a choice.

To anyone with the ability to think for themselves, Roger Ailes’ moronic minions of empty suits and skirts at Fox Fake News, along with Ailes himself, comprise a genuine army of traitor to this country, Every single member of the treasonous Murdoch cabal works toward one goal with one purpose, and that is to make the United States of America fail. Why?

To bring down our President. He’s black, y’know.

Oh, yeah. Conspiracy. Gotta get back to it.

It’s a popular theory on this side of the political war that South Carolina’s democratic senatorial candidate Alvin Green was aced in, and set up, by operatives of that state’s right-wing festivities. I could be wrong, but I’m not buying it. Too obvious.

Much as I love the idea, I don’t really believe that Republicans picked out Alvin Green to run for the Democratic senate seat and paid the $10,016.00 for his filing fee. I don’t believe they’re that smart. I believe Alvin had that money saved up, and I believe he paid for it himself. I believe it because I believe Alvin Greene is crazy.

We’ll see.

Michaelangelo Price

Mike Price is a long-time newspaper columnist, talk show host, and screenwriter who appears as a standup comedy headliner for top clubs and casinos across the country.