Since You Died

Dear Jerry: I can’t believe it’s been a year since you’ve gone. While you’ve been dead much has happened. You got cremated. Part of you was scattered at sea per your request; a bit of you escaped into the wind at the beach, some is with your family and I have a tiny spoonful of […]

Excavating an American

None of this turned out like I thought it would; when I was a little girl I dreamed of becoming a big Hollywood movie star. I thought it would be glamorous and sexy. I took the scenic route to Tinsel Town via a four-year stint as an Intelligence Analyst in the Air Force back in […]

The Disappointing Case of the Delinquent Dr. Whitley

Dear Dr. Whitley: It has come to my attention that you recently ignored a subpoena to appear before a Military Sexual Assault Committee hearing last month in Washington D.C., spearheaded by Rep. John Tierney and Rep. Henry Waxman. You Dr. Whitley are the head of the Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Office (SAPRO) for the […]

Wiretap Me Baby

Inspector Bush

Psst! Hey you! Warrantless-Wiretapper: Let me save you some time and money eavesdropping on me. Here’s the content of most of my calls: I talk to my friends a lot, mostly about the same things over and over. We feel fat. We wonder how to get skinnier, younger and less broke. We want hot, smart, […]

Winter Soldier

April Fitzsimmons

“Don’t move until it passes,” my Dad told us after our first whiteout in Montana. “The snow is blinding, it’s like a wall so just pull over and wait it out.” Our first blackout happened in the middle of a Scrabble game. Suddenly all the lights went out and the neighborhood powered down and we […]

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