Here is how Ron Paul can win. He can kidnap Chris Christie. Hold Christie hostage in a cabin. With Christie now receiving the media adoration once given to the buffoon Donald Trump, then poured on the hapless Rick Perry, my kidnap plan could propel Paul to the White House. Here’s how it would work:
Every morning, outside the cabin, Paul could host a news conference to end the Christie kidnap. Imagine: With the media herd hungrily assembled, Chris Mathews would breathlessly ask Paul: “When will you release Christie?” Ron would reply: “I will that discuss that soon, but first I want to discuss my plans to end secrecy of the Federal Reserve Board” to the huge audience.
Matt Drudge and Roger Ailes would have a field day with the Christie kidnap.
Drudge would banner in bold: CHRISTIE TAKEN PRISONER. Media coverage would surge. Ailes, who has turned Republican debates into a reality show, as Howard Kurtz brilliantly writes in Newsweek, would use Fox money to hire a mercenary army to liberate Christie, with live coverage of the liberation on the Bill O’Reilly show. But before the Ailes force lands …
The next morning, with Christie still in custody, Paul would emerge before the hungry media herd again. Wolf Blitzer would ask: “When will you release Christie?” Ron would reply: “Wolf, I will discuss that soon, but first I want to discuss why I believe America is militarily overextended, which skyrockets our national debt.” Carville might say:” It’s about time!” Castellanos might say: “This could propel Paul, but the big winner is Mitt Romney.” Gergen might say, “An interesting strategy, but we have to balance all considerations.”
Think about it. Ron Paul would have the largest audience in history, and could address the nation about its future, while the media herd awaits the Christie release.
Of course, I am kidding. If you think this sounds like the great film “Network,” you are right. But I am making some big points here.
First, Ron Paul, Herman Cain and Jon Huntsman are all, for different reasons, being treated as national non-persons by the political media.
Second, political media has become a national freak show that moves from one flavor of the month to the next, without seriously addressing the things that voters care deeply about. Like jobs, wars, mortgages and poverty.
Who looked more asinine, Donald Trump running for president against the president’s birth certificate, or political television personalities who treated him seriously as a potential commander in chief?
Poor Rick Perry. He never understood that the beast that praised him, as it now praises Christie, will devour him, as it will devour Christie if he runs, which he is almost certainly too smart to do.
Third, it is impossible to have a serious discussion about serious issues on political television. The country hungers for serious politicians who will address serious matters, and for political television that does not treat the audience as though they are political consultants or village idiots. But the country hungers in vain, which is why many eyeballs turn elsewhere while left, right and center mass audiences move to different media.
I oppose the idea of Ron Paul kidnapping Chris Christie. It would trick political media into covering candidates and issues it ignores. It would work! But as Richard Nixon said: “It would be wrong.”
Brent Budowsky was an aide to former Sen. Lloyd Bentsen and Bill Alexander, then chief deputy majority whip of the House. He holds an LL.M. degree in international financial law from the London School of Economics. He can be read on The Hill’s Pundits Blog and reached at <i>firstname.lastname@example.org</i>.