The Ballad of Craven Cliven

“I abide by all of Nevada’s state laws. But I don’t recognize the United States government as even existing.” — Cliven Bundy, 10 April 2014

He says this while waving an American flag. Genius.

Cliven Bundy wants to be a GEN-YOU-INE folk hero – and by the looks of things – the silly bastard is well on his way to honest-to-goodness folk heroism, with the help of Fox Noise (Sean Hannity in particular) and hundreds of armed-to-the-teeth yahoos and half-witted “militia men” who cheerfully stepped forward this week and made my argument (once again) for stricter regulation of the firearms industry. You can always count on these jerks to cut off their noses to spite their clueless faces, but this week’s spectacle in Nevada was something top behold.

The loony right wing loves to bitch and wail about the “undeserving poor” getting something for nothing. Why is it, then, that when it’s the undeserving rich we’re talking about, they’re always so quick to come to the plutocracy’s defense – and, oh brother, come they did!

You see, Cliven Bundy is a very wealthy rancher. For 20 years he’s been allowing his cattle to graze on government-owned land. TRANSLATION: Land owned by Weeda Peeple. This was something he was entitled to do. The problem was that for twenty years Clive refused to pay the grazing fees involved – which by this month had exceeded one million dollars. When law enforcement officials came in to evict these poor animals, the militia-nuts came into the picture, vowing to protect Cliven’s right to….whatever-the-hell they believe he has the right to do (not surprisingly, they were never quite clear on that point).

They set their scopes on the heads of officers who are sworn to uphold the law of the land. A lot of these jerks even had their women and children on the scene, daring the lawmen to shoot back if they were fired upon first. The cops wisely backed off. It was a no-win situation. The Tea Party types are declaring what a grand and glorious victory this is over the big, bad gub’ment.

That’s right, folks, these spineless cowards put their families in the cross-hairs. Isn’t that a scream? They have declared themselves to be in armed revolt against your government. Remember how well that worked out in 1861? Back then it was the Democrats cheering on the rebels. This time it’s the Republicans. Life is kinda funny that way, you know?

This is not a bold prediction on my part (in fact it’s the easiest call I’ve ever maded in my life): This is going to end very badly. We’re talkin’ tragedy here. An extremely ominous precedent has been established in Nevada. Let me explain….

This week, the homicidal crazies in the so-called “militia movement” were given the biggest mega-dose of adrenaline they’ve ever received in their long and twisted history. This won’t be the last time these idiots “stand their ground” – count on it. They’re just itching to do some killing, and on a massive and devastating scale. Gotta use them AK-47’s fer somethin’, Bubba! The NRA has been telling them for years that it is their duty to take on the government in a show of force – and these people are so gut-wrenchingly stupid that they really believe that they will be able to do just that; Blow the bastards to kingdom come! That’ll learn ‘em!

Forget the military might of the federal government; there’s the undeniable fact that even your below average state National Guard worth its weight in dead rocks would easily be able to make mincemeat out of any self-raised army of murderous and armed jackasses trying to show what manly men they are. They have proved to the world (in reality only to themselves) that they are invincible, omnipotent. Their twisted view of reality has been reinforced by the right wing media scream machine for over five years now. Like Pavlov’s dogs salivating at the bells of doom, the mantra has been drilled into their heads by constant repetition and it’s only made them crazier with each passing month:

“THERE’S AN EVIL, COMMIE KNEE-GROW LIVING IN THE WHITE HOUSE! HE WANTS TO DESTROY THE AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE! DEFEND YOUR WIFE ‘N’ CHILDREN! PASS THE LORD AND PRAISE THE AMMUNITION!”

tom deganThe danger here is not merely the undeniable fact that these folks aren’t very bright (that’s a given) but that they’re armed and – we can deny it no longer – obviously quite dangerous. If you’re not seriously alarmed by what transpired this week in Nevada, you’ve got you’ve got your head in the sand – or quite possibly you’re unfamiliar with the definition of the word, “treason”.

I’ll say it again: This is going to end very badly. I cannot emphasize that enough. Let’s hear it for the National Rifle Association!

Fasten your seat-belts, kiddies!

Tom Degan
The Rant

 

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Comments

  1. Steven Michaels says

    I don’t like this article. My objection is about style I suppose. I really don’t like the name calling that goes on in the political discussions that happen all over the net and prefer an argument based on merit rather than filling the page with name calling. Just my taste i guess.

  2. llozano says

    I tried enlarging the image to see what he had in his shirt pocket. It became too pixilated but it looks like a postcard size copy of either the Declaration of Independence or the Constitution with an image of what I think is Thomas Jefferson. If someone knows what it actually is please let me know.

  3. briankk says

    “THERE’S AN EVIL, COMMIE KNEE-GROW LIVING IN THE WHITE HOUSE! HE WANTS
    TO DESTROY THE AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE! DEFEND YOUR WIFE ‘N’ CHILDREN! PASS
    THE LORD AND PRAISE THE AMMUNITION!”

    Not the words I’d have chosen, but an accurate description of the problem, none the less.

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