Don’t Resign; Shame the Shamers, Congressman Weiner

anthony weiner republicanIn case you missed it, a Democratic congressman named Anthony Weiner sent a picture of his bulging briefs to a female college student who had invited him to add her to his private Twitter harem. Unfortunately he inserted the wrong code and sent it to all his zillion followers, none of whom saw it because he immediately deleted it, except for a rather unsavory guy who was stalking him. Enter right wing fake scandal monger Andrew Breitbart. Congressman Weiner freaks and issues awkwardly false denial. Pictures of other beautiful Weiner Twitter harem girls then appear. One of them proudly confesses to consensual virtual sex with him and publishes the transcript.

Abashed congressman withdraws denial and tearfully cops to being a stupid putz. The next thing you know, Sarah Palin’s totally unpolitical Paul Revere vacation tour (in a bus plastered with ads for her PAC) to warn the British that we aren’t giving up our guns is off the front pages and Weiner’s weiner is getting Nancy Pelosi all hot and bothered, even though the offending picture is not exactly Marky Mark 

Now, as weiner jokes tsunami the Internet, Weiner is in the bunker making apologetic phone calls to Democratic bigshots. Meanwhile, his wife is off being Hillary Clinton’s chief of staff while three months pregnant, arousing teabagger speculation that Hillary is really the baby’s father and that’s why Weiner was resorting to fooling around online instead of saving his precious sperm for post-morning sickness sex. He performed his duty, right? What more do people expect of him? He’s just Hillary’s beard, they chortle.

I think Anthony Weiner and his wife should go on the View and play this out in public like adult human beings. It will be better than Nixon’s Checkers speech. This totally lame scandal is about on the level of getting caught jerking off while looking in the mirror. Like who cares? No body fluids were exchanged. It’s thought crime. I’m sure his wife was annoyed, but she’s his wife. You can be sure she gets annoyed a lot. Don’t they all? I don’t see how voters were involved in this.

Marky Mark grabs his crotch in a suggestive Calvin Klein adThe GOP doesn’t see it that way, of course (except for Boehner, who has not ventured an opinion, possibly because the Enquirer is reporting that he’s boning a blonde lady to whom he is definitely not married, as it would be bigamy). Once again, however, Democratic girly men (and women) are showing their utter lack of backbone, just as they stampeded to betray Bill Clinton. This could revive Joe Lieberman’s career as a Quisling sell-out. As usual they let the GOP set the rules and the agenda. This is why we lost the House in 2010. The youth vote does not consider sexting a moral flaw, you know.

I feel Pelosi should carry out an internal investigation and announce that Weiner did nothing illegal or unethical as a congressman. She can admonish him for imprudent behavior. The issue is then closed. Criticisms should be answered with an offer to sacrifice Weiner in exchange for Vitter’s resignation. When they complain that a representative for a senator isn’t a fair exchange, she should answer that life is not fair. If it were, Weiner wouldn’t be under inquisition barrage. Weiner’s and Vitter’s indiscretions are minutiae at worst. No non-theological corporation in the world would fire anyone over this.

I submitted this to HuffPost but tend to doubt that they will let this through. They seem to be in the IMPEACH THE SCOUNDREL camp. One of the moderators will surely kill it for failure to play by feminist political correctness rules. Also, I said jerking off and boning, very immodest terms, far worse than Marky Mark grabbing his own penis. Feminists are understandably offended because Anthony Weiner sent suggestive pictures to ladies he was dating online and they didn’t complain because of being programmed to accept male domination. He must resign because of the ick factor, wrote one otherwise usually sensible female Facebook friend. Sexting with consensual partners is icky, she explained, not because it’s really icky, as in body fluids and all, but because it’s politically icky. I am not making that up.

This is the letter I sent him yesterday instead of doing my assigned work, thereby incurring the annoyance of my bride, the beauteous Anita Brown, who can’t understand why I would find writing about Weinergate more compelling than making money and throwing it away on useless luxuries such as food. Despite that, she brought home flowers for me. Send the little homemaker flowers, Congressman Weiner, preferably white roses. This might not be the right time for a crotch picture, though.

Dear Congressman Weiner:

I don’t live or vote in your district, but I am a New Yorker, even though I’ve lived in Mexico since 1981, in Cancun since 1983. I vote in the Chelsea district, for Jerrold Nadler.

I’m writing to express my 100% support and admiration for you and also to give you some advice. You’ve got to fight back on this one by shaming the shamers. You committed a marital indiscretion, at worst. Your sex life prior to your marriage is nobody’s business but your own. These women sought you out, sent you their pictures and even eagerly cooperated in your mutual loveplay. They enjoyed it and so did you. These were intimate moments that were just as valid as anything that takes place while dating, not to speak of underwear advertising.

You can understand why your partners chose to expose what you did together. It might be considered a betrayal, but you understand how desperate people are in these awful times. Perhaps they also wanted to share the pleasure you had together (if not the publication fees) and even to support you by showing the real you. Now that it’s all out in the open, you invite people to look at these texts and photographs. You even give them a link.

You forcefully assert that you’re not ashamed of anything in them, except for the discomfort that they cause your beloved wife, who is the only victim here. Marriages survive on the ability to absorb and learn from the hurts we inevitably cause each other.

You didn’t promise your constituents that you would submit to castration. You promised you would represent their interests to the best of your ability. You’re sorry that your private life has provided the prudes with a distraction from the real issues that face us today, such as 25 million Americans looking for work.

I truly hope that you will understand and appreciate my advice. Many thanks for your service to the goals and fundamental beliefs of socially progressive people everywhere. I’m proud that you are out there working for me. Talk from the heart. Be funny. Be strong. You can win this.

With my very best wishes for your success.

Jules Siegel
The People’s Republic of Moronia

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Comments

  1. says

    It occurs to me that Brietbart openly announced, he was using a photograph that he’s with-holding, as blackmail. Isn’t blackmail illegal? I support Anthony Weiner and I intend to keep supporting one of our most Progressive, outspoken and hardworking, elected representatives. As for the rest of the Democratic Party, it’s time to break up that “Good Ole Boys” club. While we’re at it … VOTE OUT THE CORPORATIST DEMOCRATS TOO!

  2. annieR says

    I live in Arizona, in Mr. Schweikert’s district, so clearly, I have no representation in Congress. Mr. Weiner, I need for you to stay in the House. You in the house and Mr. Franken in the Senate are my representatives. I often remember Shakespeare’s words from Hamlet: “Use every man after his desert, and who should ‘scape whipping?” Same goes for women. Please don’t resign.

  3. says

    PS. and maybe if Weiner looked like Mark Walhberg looked in that ad, then there might have been a better reason to post the pic.

    As it is, Weiner looks like a flagpole with a short sock in the wind.

  4. says

    “This totally lame scandal is about on the level of getting caught jerking off while looking in the mirror.”

    No, not quite. Weiner sent pics to women he was NOT in a consensual sex talk relationship with.

    I don’t mean the porn star or the blackjack dealer– those seem consensual., and though creepy, none of my businees. That’s his wife’s problem. And like every politicians’ wife, will apparently grimace and bear it.

    However, he also sent unsolicited sex pics to women who had only wanted political discussions with him. That’s not only creepy but also legally considered sexual harassment.

    I agree with some of Weiner’s political views but– like Joe Mowrey in the preceding post– I find Weiner’s political attitude toward Palestinians totally right-wing

    • says

      “However, he also sent unsolicited sex pics to women who had only wanted political discussions with him. That’s not only creepy but also legally considered sexual harassment.”

      I don’t recall seeing that. The picture that he’s known to have sent out is a lot tamer than the Marky Mark ad. A couple of his correspondents thought it was a little weird, but I don’t see how it’s sexual harassment. This is like mopery and intent to gawk, in the street language of my father’s time. It was not a big deal and none of them thought it was. It was awkward. When they did not respond he immediately pulled back. It’s not like he was waving his dripping dong in their faces. Lighten up and give the guy a break.

      His blind support of Israel is unfortunate. He’s basically on the side of good. Would you prefer a Republican? As I said in my piece, he’s a putz, but who isn’t at some point?

      I don’t know about you guys, but I am perfect and never make mistakes, I’ve never lied, not once in my entire life. A couple of my ex-wives accused me of cheating on them and lying about it. “Why would I do that?” I asked them. They understood immediately and apologized for their utterly unfounded nasty suspicions. I’ve been in some tough situations, too, and I can state with great confidence that I never panicked and made the wrong move and made the situation worse.

      Now with a fantastic record like that for probity, prudence and infallible performance under pressure, even I can sympathize with Anthony Weiner.

      So if someone like me, innocent of all prevarication and wrongdoing, a model of marital faithfulness (at least this time around, since 1977), can have some understanding and compassion for Congressman Weiner, surely lesser beings can give him a break, too. Unless you are Republicans, of course. Don’t give him a break, teabaggers. It is vital that you emasculate the one Democratic congressman with big, clanking, steel balls.You can’t let this become an epidemic. A little sadomasochistic foreplay is fun, but you do not want to get crushed glands the size and weight of Liberty Bells, do you.

        • Pasabob says

          Stay Anthony Stay. Meanwhile you could stake out a no-risk political position for neo-Tories on the right to mull over, i.e. you will resign when you and David Vitter have a joint news conference to resign together. Since their specialty is lying, make sure he does it first. No chance that will happen.

      • says

        unsolicited photos were sent to Gennette Cordova, a student in Seattle’s Whatcom Community College

        http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2015269311_weinerpattern09.html

        The entire article is at the URL above. Below is a relevant paragraph:

        “Cordova, who had text-messaged with Weiner about their shared concern over his conservative critics, said she never had sent him anything provocative. Asked if she was taken aback by Weiner’s decision to send the photo, she responded, “Oh gosh, yes.” ……………

        A spokeswoman for Weiner did not dispute Cordova’s account.

        Weiner, at his news conference Monday, said he had sent Cordova the underwear photo “as part of a joke.” But she said the image was not in keeping with the tenor of their previous interactions. “I still didn’t get the joke part of it,” she said.”

  5. says

    Super-liberal Congressman? Oh, right. The Progressive-Except-for-Palestine Mr. Weiner. Check out his string or outright lies and fabrications about Israel’s illegal and immoral occupation of Palestine in this post a Mondoweiss (http://mondoweiss.net/2011/06/weiner-repeatedly-lied-about-israel-and-palestine-does-anyone-care.html). This guy claims, with a straight face, that “there is no Israeli Military presence in the West Bank.” He’s bought and paid for by the Israel lobby, just like the rest of our Congress.I keep forgetting, PEP’s only oppose human rights abuses when anyone but Israel engages in them. Wake up and smell the coffee. It’s the U.S. and Israel who are the rogue states on the planet. No “liberal,” super or otherwise, should be supporting Israel or our own gang of corporate racketeers. You’re better than this Jules. Do your homework on Weiner.

    • says

      See above. The article has been corrected. Calling him a Democrat is a fact. Calling him a super-liberal is an opinion that was based on my failure to consider the Zionist issue (and others that have been brought to my attention. I withdraw it.

      I am fervently anti-Zionist and have been for longer than some readers have been on this planet.. It started when I read a letter in the New York Times by Albert Einstein and other great Jewish intellectuals denouncing the gangster tactics of the Israeli military forces.

      I was only 13 years and had stood on the corner of my street in The Bronx shaking a can to collect money to send an ambulance (parked behind me) to the Holy Land. I kept my feelings to myself because they were too politically dangerous to speak out loud. In later years, as an adult, I broke with my cousins and stopped visiting them because of the issue.

      I am against fundamentalism in general. I wish that more Moslems, Jews and Christians were too, but the talibani of all faiths and flavors we shall always have with us.

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