Dear Australia, Take Him Back

Rupert Murdoch

Rupert Murdoch dumped you for a tax break.

That’s right. Now, he claims to be an American. Clearly, he thinks so little of Australia that he’s willing to dilute his citizenship to your great country.

With money enough to live in great luxury any place in the world, he lives here, in the United States, instead of there, in Australia. Why?

Because he likes our country better than he likes your country. Nyah, nyah, nyah…

Y’see, Murdoch is neither rich enough nor powerful enough. Not yet. He has this desperate need for more money and more power. You can understand that, can’t you? Of course you can.

Sure, he owns really big, expensive properties in Australia, but owning really big, expensive properties someplace, anyplace, does not mean those places are in your country. Your country is where you establish your headquarters and home and involve yourself in local/national politics. That’s your country.

The United States is where Rupert Murdoch has established his main headquarters and home and involves himself in local/national politics. Here, in our country. Not your country. Nyah, nya…oops, already did that.

Most people with dual citizenship have little choice. They have to earn enough money take care of their families by doing whatever it takes, and sometimes it actually does require dual citizenship. But with Rupert’s millions, there’s only one reason to become an American citizen, and that’s because he loves America more than he loves Australia.

So do we. That’s why we wish he’d get the hell out of our country, out of our politics, and out of our lives.

Love to Shiela and the kids,

P.S.: And he can take that overfed slob of a traitor, Roger Ailes, with him.

Michaelangelo Price

Mike Price is a long-time newspaper columnist, talk show host, and screenwriter who appears as a standup comedy headliner for top clubs and casinos across the country.

Published by the LA Progressive on September 6, 2010
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About Michaelangelo Price

Mike Price is a long-time standup comedian, newspaper columnist, talk show host, screenwriter, disk jockey, racehorse exercise rider, poker dealer, and Vegas pit supervisor. His book, "If You Can't Keep A Job, Become A Writer," should have been written by now.