Friday Feedback: A Grandmother and Her Gay Grandson

istock_000001483014xsmall.jpgFridays the LA Progressive features a comment that was particularly noteworthy. This week we are featuring a comment submitted by Carmen, responding to “What If Your Child Is Gay?” by K. Danielle Edwards.

Here’s Carmen’s comment:

I am the grandmother of a 17-year-old grandson that I am raising. My grandson came out at 13 years of age. I remember thinking that this was not something that I dreamed of for him, but even more I was scared for him. We are Black and in our community and also in my family, being gay, at that time, was not eagerly accepted. I constantly wanted to keep him with me to shield him from the craziness and brutality of a community that looks at gays like they have no right to live.

I remember wondering if he had a sexual encounter or was it something that I over looked while he was growing up. Then I thought maybe he was around just women too often. You are right when there is this part of you that wonders if this is just a phase or gender issues. I remember thinking will he out grow this or maybe, just maybe, some aggresive young lady would see this as a challenge and try to conquer him liking young men. Once he had an experience with a young woman, maybe he would change.

Then I prayed. One thing I knew for sure was that I loved and would love my grandson, even if he was gay. I also realized that I needed to educate myself, so that I could educate others around us, especially our family. His dad, my son, was not receptive and was hurt. He felt that he had done something wrong. I could feel and see his pain. The upside of this was that my grandson felt comfortable enough with his dad to come out to him. To this I felt his was also reaching out for guidance and support.

To date, my grandson, son, and I receive counseling. I am constantly trying to secure information to understand this issue. I want to support my grandson in all of his endeavours. Our family is becoming supportive. I still sometime wonder what has happened that so many young men and women are coming out now. Do you know the answer??

Published by the LA Progressive on October 2, 2009
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