A Nasty Plot Shift for the GOP

gop debates“I think Americans just don’t know sometimes which Mitt Romney they’re dealing with. Is it the Mitt Romney that was on the side of … against … the Second Amendment before he was for the Second Amendment … was it before he was before these social programs, uh, from the standpoint he was standing, uh, for Roe vs. Wade before he was against Roe, uh, Roe vs. Wade … uh … he was … uh for Race To The Top. … Uh … (long pause) … he’s for Obamacare and now he’s against it. … I mean, we’ll wait until tomorrow and, and, and wait to see which Mitt Romney we’re really talking to.” –Governor Rick Perry, GOP debate, 22 September 2011

Goodness gracious, this is not good. My wildest dream – that either Michele Bachmann or Rick Perry would somehow make it to the Republican National Convention next summer – has gone up in flames; or so it would seem. If a month is a lifetime in American politics (as the politicians love to remind us) a year is a millennium.

Perry’s disastrous appearance at last Thursday’s debate in Florida seemed to put the ol’ kibosh on the governor’s presidential aspirations. And it was only a matter of time before Congresswoman Bachmann said something irreparably stupid. When she blurted out that a certain vaccination caused mental retardation, it proved to be too idiotic for Florida Republicans even. In a straw poll conducted in that state a few days ago, she registered near the bottom. This only a month after her moment on the mountaintop in Iowa.

The Democrats are depressed by these turns of events and I can’t blame them. With a comparative moderate (at least by modern-day standards) like Mitt Romney as the nominee next year, President Obama’s reelection is more uncertain than ever. Or is it?

tom deganThere is a silver lining for the Dems behind this dark cloud. The nitwits that comprise “the base” of the GOP are not going to be motivated to come out in droves for a former governor of Taxachusetts who brought health care to his state – and who also happens to be a Mormon. Remember this, too: Between now and the convention, Mitt Romney is going to be saying a lot of really stupid things during the coming primaries – things of monumentally idiotic proportions. That is the only way to win the nomination of that party anymore.

Think about it! Have you been watching these people? Who’s the most impressive and articulate one of the bunch? Jon Huntsman! And he’s not even registering with these people. In fact he’s at the bottom of every poll!

Willard Mitt Romney’s pandering to that party’s idiotic base during the primaries – particularly in the Deep South and the Midwest – will only come back to haunt him when he faces the president in the general election. Fifty years from now, when historians gather in judgement of Barack Obama’s political career, if they’re only in agreement on one point it will be this one:

This was one lucky son-of-a-gun.

The Christie Equation

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie

I’m blushing as I write these words. Much as I hate to admit this, I’ve gotta be upfront with you and just say it: Chris Christie has grown on me. That is not as hard for me to say as you might think. I don’t live in New Jersey – and I’m far enough away from it’s border that whatever happens there doesn’t affect me much. That being said, I’ve come to admire the governor’s gruff bluntness. You can accuse the guy of many things. Being a phony ain’t one of them. Some operatives within “the party of Lincoln” are begging him to get into the race, but Christie isn’t budging. He is reminding people of General William Tecumseh Sherman when he refused the GOP nomination a century-and-a-half ago:

“If nominated I will not run. If elected I will not serve.”

Everyone is wondering: What’s up with this guy??? I have a theory. In his years as United States Attorney for the District of New Jersey, there were allegations that Christie was somewhat “ethically challenged”. These allegations followed him into the campaign for governor in 2009. My theory is that Chris knows damned well if he announces his candidacy for the president, a few industrious reporters are going to dig up a few things he doesn’t want them to find.

Maybe I’m wrong about this – and forgive me if I am – but I can’t believe that any ambitious politician would turn down what Christie is turning down if he didn’t have a small chorus line of skeletons in his closet. I’m not saying that he’s done anything that could put him in prison for a long stretch, I’m just sayin’….This is pure speculation on my part but there it is.

But even if he were to enter the race, compared to the rest of the frontrunners – including Mitt Romney – Chris Christie is as liberal as it is possible for a Republican to be in this day and age. Compared to the rest of the jackasses on that side of the aisle he looks like Franklin D. Roosevelt. Despite a strong endorsement this week from Rupert Murdoch, he is not likely to inspire the base very much. In a recent interview – and God bless him for saying this – he said that gays and lesbians are God’s children and that we should accept them for who they are. Trust me on this one, kids; as beautiful as that statement is, it’s not going to play too well in Peoria – Arizona. It might do a little better in Peoria, Illinois, but not much, I suspect. He’s also been publicly scornful of the extremism of the conservative movement. I’ll say it again. Barack Obama is one lucky son of a gun.

tom deganI’m still hoping against hope that Rick and Michele will be able to get their respective acts together. I want one of them to get the nomination so bad I can almost taste it. It doesn’t matter in the least which one. Can you imagine how delightfully twisted either of their campaigns would be?

PLEASE, FATE! I’M BEGGIN’ YA!

Tom Degan
The Rant

Published by the LA Progressive on September 28, 2011
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About Tom Degan

Tom Degan is a fifty-four-year old video artist who in 2006 became so thoroughly disgusted at the state of America's national political dialogue, he decided to take time off to become a freaking civics teacher. He was born in Goshen, NY in 1958 and, after living all over the United States and Canada, moved back there in 1992. He is a high school dropout who in 1977 received an equivalency diploma (HEY, IT'S LEGAL!) He attended SUNY in Middletown, NY and in 1986 studied journalism at the New School in New York City. He is the recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom and has worked as a truck driver, a radio DJ, and a metal worker... OK, he didn't ACTUALLY receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom, but he DID get some kind of ribbon of sorts when he was in the Cub Scouts. He is the inventor of Cheez Whiz and lives off the royalties on the sales of that fine product. He loves children and little baby duckies. FULL DISCLOSURE: He didn't really invent Cheez Whiz. His address is: 2590 Rte 17M (PO BOX 611) Goshen, NY 10924 (845) 294-5714

Comments

  1. Joe Weinstein says:

    Jokes about taxachusetts aside, please note the very real possibility that the Republican ticket in 2012 could well end up looking like the Democrats’ 1960 ticket: Mass-Tex.

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