GOP Loves Vladimir Putin

Putin-With-Horse-350“People are looking at Putin as one who wrestles bears and drills for oil. They look at our president as one who wears mom jeans and equivocates and bloviates,” said fraction-term governor and noted Putin-watcher Sarah Palin on Fox News’ Hannity this week.

Russian President Vladimir Putin’s beefcake boudoir photography featuring his naked torso alongside large mammals is a siren song for Republicans. They’ve been in the market for a man—manly enough to take charge of their shattered caucus. A dude—dudish enough to stand up to the “feminized atmosphere” created by the media.

They just can’t seem find a leader strong enough. Where’s the warmonger of their dreams?

Maybe the perfect candidate for the Grand Old Party has been there all along…three terms to be exact.

George W. Bush stared into his eyes and got a sense of his soul. Putin is basically the Kremlin’s Harriet Myers (except conservatives admire Putin).

Is there a flight deck we can get this guy on already?!

Putin combines all the decisiveness of the no-apology President Bush with all the Winter Olympics accolades of no-apology candidate Mitt Romney, but with more shirtless horse riding!

Plus unlike former frontrunner Chris Christie, Putin’s not afraid to stand up to Obama. Putin would never call for cuts to the military! Putin would never allow Congress to do nothing for two sessions! Putin wouldn’t appoint all those czars like Obama! Ted Cruz went to namby-pamby Harvard—Putin served in the rough-and-tumble KGB. That’s right—military service!

He’s a hero.

“Putin sees himself as a macho man who’s going to do pretty much what he wants,” Bill O’Reilly said on his self-titled show. “The president sees himself as a renaissance man who wants to accommodate.”

A renaissance man who wants to accommodate?! In a democracy?! Outrageous! Impeach him.

Putin just does what he wants without having to consult with anyone. He doesn’t have to wait around for handwringing and (gasp) compromise inherent in our girly pink tulle-clad constitutional government. No, Putin just feels in his gut what’s right and he does it. Deliberating international consequences are for ladies who wear unsexy middle-aged lady jeans and those with the middle name Hussein. Broad consensus is for broads.

Putin is the GOP’s Fabio. The sexy man model on the cover of their favorite romance novel, “Dictator of Love: He Sees What He Wants and Takes It.”

And come on: let’s talk about name recognition! This guy is a star! John Kasich who? The entire WORLD knows Vladimir Putin! There’s no contest.

“Putin decides what he wants to do and he does it in half a day, right?” Giuliani swooned on Neil Cavuto. “He decided he had to go to their parliament. He went to their parliament. He got permission in 15 minutes…but he makes a decision and he executes it quickly. Then everybody reacts. That’s what you call a leader. President Obama, he’s got to think about it. He’s got to go over it again. He’s got to talk to more people about it.”

Talking to people? How weak! Thankfully the right-wing-dominated talk radio is fully put off by leaders talking.

tina-dupuy-2013Oh and the gays! The GOP-Putin bromance started last year when Putin criminalized gay propaganda. Bat Buchanan gushed in August, “Putin is trying to re-establish the Orthodox Church as the moral compass of the nation it had been for 1,000 years before Russia fell captive to the atheistic and pagan ideology of Marxism. ‘The adoption of Christianity,’ declared Putin, ‘became a turning point in the fate of our fatherland, made it an inseparable part of the Christian civilization and helped turn it into one of the largest world powers.’” He continued, “Anyone ever heard anything like that from the Post, the Times or Barack Hussein Obama?”

Has anyone ever heard of the GOP slobbering over a foreign president before?

Tina Dupuy
Taking Eternal Vigilance Too Far

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Published by the LA Progressive on March 6, 2014
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About Tina Dupuy

Tina is a nationally syndicated political columnist, investigative journalist, award-winning writer, stand-up comic and wedge issue fan.

Comments

  1. If you have the ability, check out how many house bills Reid vetoed by not bringing them up for a vote. Why have to account for voting against some bill if you can pigeon hole it instead. That way he does not have a record of passing or not passing a bill. It is the senate that has been dragging it’s feet, not the house.
    I will give you and others this advise on voting for any CIC, never vote for a person to be the CIC who does not play chess. Vote for the one who is the best player. I would rather vote for the best chess player than to vote for the best party member. I never vote a party line, select the best leader. Governors make the best POTUS.
    I lived behind the Iron Curtain for years and I played the game the KGB plays. I would rather have the “cowboy Bush” in office now than the neophyte we have today. He has not managed as much as an ice cream stand and has no idea how to get others to follow him. He is good at organizing people who already want to go in the direction he wants to lead them. Not so good in leading the folks who do not want to go in the direction he wants them to go. I do not see him as a chess player of any stature and look forward to his replacement.

  2. Can we give Alaska back to Russia? Or maybe just Palin. Anyway Putin has man boobs, those are the loosest nipples I’ve seen in a while.

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