God, Michele Bachmann’s Personal Adviser

Rep. Michelle Backman (Rep. Stillwater, Minnesota)

Rep. Michelle Backman (Rep. Stillwater, Minnesota)

So Michele Bachmann, congresswoman from Minnesota’s weird 6th District, major embarrassment to rational Minnesotans, has set up an exploratory committee and is trying to decide whether to run for president.

Actually, as Bachmann has made clear on numerous occasions, she is waiting for God to tell her whether to run for president, as He has instructed her, she says, in all other things political.

It is not clear why she needs a committee.

There are, of course, several other right wing politicians looking to God with equal confidence for the answer to the same question: Shall I run for president of the United States and share my beauty and genius with the world, or is it not yet time?

I can’t help it. This plethora of mostly not very bright – and some downright drooling stupid – right wing politicians waiting for God’s instruction on whether to run for president gives rise to some questions.

(Were the questions planted in my brain by God? Stay tuned.)

First: Has there ever, in the entire history of the planet, been a politician who has acknowledged that God told him or her to sit down and shut up?

Did God ever say to one of them, “You’re a bloody jackass, so shut your yap and stop trying to make a fool of me?”

Secondly: Has there ever been a politician who found he or she was able to raise the money for a run for office and then decided not to run on the instruction, or at least advice, of God?

Third: Has there ever been a politician who recognized that the money for a campaign wasn’t going to roll in who heard from God that he or she should run anyway?

Fourth: In what form does the message arrive? Is it clear and concise, as in “Run” or “Don’t run” spoken in a bass voice that makes the windows rattle? Or does it come in the puzzling form used so successfully long ago by the Oracle at Delphi: “Water runs downhill unless it is dammed?”

Fifth: If there is no thundering voice, what does God sound like? Does he whisper in one’s ear?

Six: How does God ever get anything useful done if he spends so much time fussing about the futures of dimwit American politicians?

Is it possible to be more arrogant than to claim that whatever you do, you are following instructions contained in express personal messages from God?

Jim Fuller

Published by the LA Progressive on April 2, 2011
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About Jim Fuller

James Clay Fuller is a sort-of retired journalist who has worked in newspapers and magazines for more than 45 years. His day job for 30 years was at the Minneapolis StarTribune, where he was a business and economics reporter, features writer, and sometime music critic, as well as an editor in charge of several specialized sections of the newspaper and a number of investigative projects. He was nominated for Pulitzer Prizes in 1977 and 1992, and was the instigator and senior editor on a project that was nominated for a Pultizer in 1997. He has written for many national publications.

Professionally, Fuller has been known throughout his career as Jim Fuller. However, when applying for the URL of that name, he learned it has been hijacked by a Web squatter who is using it in an extremely offensive way. In addition, Web searches for "Jim Fuller" turn up thousands of others with the same name, so he is now using his full name - James Clay Fuller - to make it easier to find him online.