Dotty Lemieux: Invisible Paul Ryan can dodge and weave an invisible Todd Akin as he tells people his own plan for limiting abortion and protecting Medicare. Real senior citizens can pelt him with mock vouchers from the wings.
John Peeler: Obama needs to convince the people who voted for him once that he has a good plan. So far, he seems mostly to be telling us how untrustworthy Mitt Romney is. Show us, Barack, that we should still believe in you.
Clifford “Felonius Ax” Tasner: Mitt showed us his mettle when he was at the helm of Bain – buying up companies – downsizing, outsourcing and squeezing every last drop out of them before leaving behind dried up little husks.
Clifford “Felonius Ax” Tasner: Brokerage firms will soon be offering Not-A-Lot-of-Future Futures so investors can put money down on when particular geezers will succumb to the ailments that we don’t cover. So it’s really a win-win. Meaning we win and we win again!
Nomiki Konst: Scrap the Lynyrd Skynyrd concert! Cancel the Michele Bachmann movie screening! Hurricane Isaac is billowing in, forcing the RNC to deconstruct, reevaluate and hone in on its core message: The Future.
Walter Moss: What is troubling is that most conservatives still believe that the chief way to more equality of opportunity is cutting back on government programs and reducing taxes, especially for the wealthy.
Carole Bartolotto: The problem with concluding that GMOs are safe is that the argument for their safety rests solely on animal studies. These studies are offered as evidence that the debate over GMOs is over. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Walker Foley: Elected officials seem to think there’s only one side of this property rights argument. The people who live in these communities have rights too, but the oil companies seem to have the jump on [the politicians’] side of the fence.