There Goes Rick!

Rick Perry Does it Again

rick perry pistol

Rick Perry

“This is such a cool state. I mean, come on: ‘Live Free or Die’. You gotta love it, right?….I come from a state, you know, where they have this little place called the Alamo, and they declared ‘Victory or Death’….We’re kind of into those slogans ‘Live free or die’, Victory or Death’. Bring it.” –Rick Perry

Republican Rick Perry is a tough-talking Texan, but he was a good ol’ giggler in New Hampshire on Friday – prompting pundits to speculate he’d had a few pops before giving his pep talk.” — Byran Browdie, New York Daily News, 11/2/11

There he stood on the mountaintop. Here was the man who had been called upon by history to lead his people out of the desert. He was the new Moses – re-visioned for the twenty-first century. This man of the Texas plains called out to the multitudes, “I will lead you to the precipice of this mountain of righteousness. Follow me.” The people were overwhelmed by his very presence. Surely, they felt, here was a man who would do battle, in their name, against the evil forces of liberalism. They knelt at his feet, some of them weeping in joy and gratitude. He found himself at the ultimate height of his life’s mission, standing proud. “I am at fate’s alter”, he quietly said to himself, “Nothing and nobody will hinder my quest.” And there he proudly stood on the mountaintop of history, prepared to go forth to do battle. At that very moment something horrible and unexpected happened….

Rick Perry opened his mouth.

You know your candidacy is pretty much blued, screwed, and tattooed, when a certified headcase like Herman Cain is leading you in every poll. This is terrible news for me. I so wanted Governor Rick Perry to be named standard bearer at the Republican Convention next summer, I could almost taste it. What a wondrously stupid and twisted campaign his would have been! I’m almost beside myself in my grief and frustration.

But where there is even a wisp of life there can still be an abundance of hope. There are still two months before the primary season begins. Maybe there is time for him to get his act together. I know this is probably wishful thinking on my part. I have a history of self-delusion when it comes to my political hopes and dreams. Michele Bachmann’s campaign has warped and died like rancid fruit on the vine. The Hermanator is about to be done in by a sexual harassment scandal he thought was long-forgotten. Rick Santorum petered out the moment he announced his candidacy. Newt Gingrich is diseased and brain damaged. Mitt Romney is just plain boring. Mr. Rick Perry is my last and only hope.

Oh, please, dear and blessed fate. O cruel and wicked fate! Why dost thou torment we mortals so?

Talk about your luck of the Irish. You’ve really got to hand it to O’Bama. No, that wasn’t a typo. This son-of-a-gun has been so lucky throughout his career he must be a descendant of the Emerald Isle! In fact we now know he is! Certainly he’s got to be the luckiest politician in American history! First, he had the extremely good fortune to run against a stark-raving lunatic like Alan Keyes for the senate, then only a couple of years later he faces down blubbering John McCain and Fascist Barbie for the presidency. And now? Just have a gander at the insane clown posse that wants to take his job from him! I’ve said it before and now I’ll repeat myself: Barack Obama is the luckiest man on the face of the earth. Somewhere beyond the curtain of that unknowable void, Lou Gehrig must be smiling. I hear you sigh.

herman cain sexual harrassmentBack on August 15, shortly after Rick Perry entered the race, I wrote the following on this site:

“The deeply disturbing similarities to George W. Bush aside, Rick Perry has also got that Ronald Reagan thing happening, have you noticed that? Good hair, telegenic, sunny disposition, smooth talker – and dumber than an empty box of Rice Crispies. Ronnie with a Texas twang. The perfect candidate in this era of soundbites and snake oil. Just when you thought that the 2012 clown parade could not possibly get any stupider, enter Rick Perry, stage right – extreme right.”

Exit Rick Perry.

I have to stop kidding myself. This campaign is kaput. The irony is that it wasn’t the mind-bendingly stupid things our man Rick was saying in the debates that did him in with “the base”. Ignorance goes a long way with this crowd as you know. And not even when it was revealed that he had spent years frequenting a hunting camp called “N….head” did it register a molecule with these assholes.

No, what broke the deal for Rick Perry was a genuine (and touching quite frankly) moment of compassion when he told this mob of half-wits that Texas has a duty to educate the children of illegal immigrants, and anyone who thought differently “doesn’t have any heart”. That sort of decency doesn’t really play too well with the Tea Party types. For good or ill, that was the moment the Perry campaign began to whither and die.

Republican governors throughout the land have been working overtime in the last year, rigging their respective state’s election laws in such a way that would make it next-to-impossible for the people who normally vote for the Democratic party to cast their precious ballots. Under such a scenario even a sadistic twit like Rick Perry could have waltzed right into the Oval Office.

But now it looks as if that’s not going to happen – and too bad for me. A Perry administration – while bad for this already irreparably damaged nation – would have been the best thing that ever happened to me. For at least four (or possibly eight) years, I would not have had to so-much-as touch my keyboard. These things would have written themselves. Now it looks as though I’ll be working a little harder than I had hoped to in the years to come. Bummer!

Still, we do live in interesting times, do we not?

Tom Degan
The Rant 

SUGGESTED READING:

This Mother’s Life
by Nina Mohadjer

Nina Mojadjer and Tom Degan

Nina Mojadjer and Tom Degan

Nina Mojadjer is a friend of mine who lives in Ridgefield, Connecticut. She has written a wonderful book that chronicles her thoughts and observations with regard to being a relatively new citizen of the United States and the joys and challenges of being a single mother, raising two precocious (but perfectly delightful) daughters. She was born in Iran in 1970, raised in Germany, and came to the Unites States in 1993. Her tri-cultural experience is not only truly amazing, but inspiring as well.

She is a tireless advocate of Women’s rights – not only in this country but in her native Iran as well – and has written extensively and passionately on the subject. If you want to understand why immigrants are – and always have been – so essential to America’s soul, just look to Nina Mohadjer. Her story is an example that can light the darkest American light. She is also very polite, did I mention that? A real lady to the manor born.

At the moment Amazon.com has no copies of her book in stock, but you can ask your friendly, independently owned book store (There must be one left) to order it for you. Or, better yet, contact Nina directly:

nina@ninamohadjer.com

As I said, Nina Mohadjer inspires.

NOTE TO THE TEA PARTY:

Nina is a legal immigrant. Chill.

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Comments

  1. Robin Doyno says

    Tom Degan helps keeps our shuttered minds open, if only a little bit. I so miss the candidacy of Palin and Bachman and wonder if anyone would stand with me in an effort to bring back Dan Quale.
    Anyone who makes the current authors of much of our dilemma look like a bright light is # 1 in my book.
    Robin

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