Dan Embree: As Homeland Security Secretary Nielsen explained, “If there’s one thing they know, it’s borders. The days of Canucks sneaking over for sprees at the Baudette, Minnesota Wal-Mart are over!”
Dan Embree: “It’s the level where the president is rich and talks only to other rich guys. Where he runs a business out of his office, renting hotel rooms to diplomats and golf-carts to his body-guards.”
Friday, 1 June 2018 Dear Mr President, Most of the guys down at the Retrofit have already ordered their Trump pre-Nobel Singapore medallions for $19.95 – “the same price as for the Winky-Dinky-coffee-grinder-and-potato-slicer-but-wait-there’s-more-5-lbs-of-potatoes-with-the-first-100-orders” – Melba Thumper pointed out. But rancher Huff Swaggar, was waiting for the price to drop. “At $6.95, they’ll be worthless,” he […]
Dan Embree: “I was just obeying orders,” Nassar testified. “In those days, everybody thought fondling patients was cool. I’ll never ever do it again.” Senate gives bipartisan confirmation.
Dan Embree: Sarah Huckabee Sanders: “There’s a very big different between making an honest mistake and purposely misleading the American people.”
Dan Embree: “Two years ago I was a doctor. An astonishingly excellent one. Had a big-shot patient. Gave him a drug to make his hair grow. Propecia. Trouble was, it made other things shrink.”
Dan Embree: Two cops arrived to investigate Pruitt’s abduction, but when they saw the guy that looked like Avenatti, they started chatting him up and laughing.
Dan Embree: Well, anyway, here we are, two old tough-guy lawyers with a little PR thing, a situation, misunderstanding really, not a problem, not a problem, we can settle it quietly, donchathink?
Dan Embree: The raid on my lawyer’s office – HAHRRIBLE! – prompted me to act. Mikey – Sean and Elliot and I all call him Mikey – has been my lawyer for years, so I know some of my stuff has been illegally scooped up by those slime-ball feds.
Dan Embree: “First, we’ll have a parade. All wars start with a parade. These guys march, and those guys ride horses. I’ll be on a horse.”
Dan Embree: Does your ego not care about the history your great-grandchildren will read? Or the videos they will watch of you making promises on Tuesday that you disavow on Thursday? Not to mention the lies on all the other days of the week?
Dan Embree: Everybody shut up. We think the word is getting out about the tango Donny Spurs danced with La Tempestosa.
Asked about her role in supervising torture at a secret “black site” and in destroying the evidence later, Gina Haspel smiled sweetly and said “Goodness gracious, Dear, are you sure you want to ask that?”