Clifford J. Tasner: As we witness the post mortem of this troubling election, you can bet that pretty soon, someone soon is going to blame the Left – the hardcore progressives and young Independents who rallied around Bernie – for the result.
Felonious Ax: We in Big Pharma are very proud of our freedom to gouge consumers. Therefore, we can’t sit by and allow an initiative to pass that would curtail our self-expression!
Clifford J. Tasner: One of our dreams is a California where every bit of oil under the Monterey Shale has been fracked by our companies and sold to the Chinese!
Clifford Tasner: No one is talking about the people who will be most hurt by this display of unfettered diplomacy: The weapons manufacturers! The arms merchants!
Clifford “Felonious Ax? Tasner: Voters are not becoming better informed and candidates get away with saying almost anything that pops into their heads. It was especially bad this year when Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan simply lied at every chance.
Clifford “Felonius Ax” Tasner: President Romney will usher in an America where only our tiny minority gets to thrive while the rest of you succumb to debt peonage. And being Billionaires will feel extra special once again!
Clifford “Felonius Ax” Tasner: “Corporatist” Dems pander to the same socially liberal causes as their fellow Dems, but when the time comes, they vote on our behalf to deregulate and privatize and outsource and downsize.
Clifford “Felonious Ax” Tasner: All of us were out in force in Tampa last week, but there aren’t enough Billionaires in Charlotte to fill a clown limousine. It’s mostly our entertainment and media moguls who are here.
Clifford “Felonius Ax” Tasner: Mitt showed us his mettle when he was at the helm of Bain – buying up companies – downsizing, outsourcing and squeezing every last drop out of them before leaving behind dried up little husks.
Clifford “Felonius Ax” Tasner: Brokerage firms will soon be offering Not-A-Lot-of-Future Futures so investors can put money down on when particular geezers will succumb to the ailments that we don’t cover. So it’s really a win-win. Meaning we win and we win again!
Clifford “Felonious Ax” Tasner: So what if a few citizens with funny-sounding names are getting purged from the voter rolls? I’ll bet a lot of the countries these people came from didn’t even have voting.
Clifford “Felonius Ax” Tasner: Adelson’s got the accommodations next to ours, and for a guy who has made his fortune in casinos, you’d think he’d be a little less grumpy about the stream of Tampa Bay’s famous strippers coming in and out of our suites.
Clifford “Felonius Ax” Tasner: The predator drones represent a great opportunity for our Aerospace companies. We are making a killing killing, for goodness sake!