Dan Embree: “I’m the real president. The Chosen One. The MAGA Meister. The Very Stable Genius with the Very Big Brain. I hereby order you to call the First Lady.”
Dan Embree: “How about Leda and the Swan? See the swan is really a disguise for a god who wants to lay this naked babe named Leda, so he swoops down on her and grabs her by the —”
Dan Embree: Stormy Daniels: “The small hands thing? You just don’t know.”
Dan Embree: The Golden Shower: A saucy sauce of yellow Muscovite peas and leeks dribbled onto a bed of Tartsy Tartar – every Russian sailor’s dream. Must be filmed to be believed. Not for everyone.
Dan Embree: In the midst of a rally, Trump spots an empty seat, flies into a rage, and screams “You people are not worthy of me. I quit!”
Dan Embree: Definitely no deal now. Sad. I was going to throw in Puerto Rico and all its Mexicans. Cheap labor.
Dan Embree: For that tiny portion of your base given to grammar and logic, the singular verb “pulls” suggests that “Mental illness and hatred” are one thing and thus that all the angry people in your base are nuts.
Dan Embree: “I’m trying for the night shift as an eviscerator, so I can put in 8 hours after my day as a surgical nurse. I think the skill set is basically the same.”
Dan Embree: She seemed to know she was involved in something evil – something that didn’t square with her country’s ideals, her bland assurances, and perhaps her own maternal feelings.
Dan Embree: “What a lovely name, Tango. But I hope you’re not one of those ‘Bad Hambres’ Da-da talks about.”
Dan Embree: Dr Wolfgang Schädelprüfer of the Mayo Clinic said that his examination of X-rays and cat-scans left no doubt that you suffer from a rare disease known as hyper-osteo-incrementalitis in which the cranium grows inward, gradually compressing the brain into a smaller and smaller volume.
Dan Embree: “Whatever. Anti-invite them. I just don’t want to see them. Especially that nasty mannish one with the purple hair. Not my type. How’d she get to be a princess anyway?”
Dan Embree: I see a future in which one man in some barely populated place, call it Wyoming (or whatever), will have 68 times the voice in choosing federal judges as another man in another place, call it California (or some such).