Mitt on Obama: Mortal Menace, or Fumbling Failure?

president obama

John Peeler: Obama needs to convince the people who voted for him once that he has a good plan. So far, he seems mostly to be telling us how untrustworthy Mitt Romney is. Show us, Barack, that we should still believe in you.

Felonius Ax in Tampa: Finally, One of Our Own

mitt's cold eyes

Clifford “Felonius Ax” Tasner: Mitt showed us his mettle when he was at the helm of Bain – buying up companies – downsizing, outsourcing and squeezing every last drop out of them before leaving behind dried up little husks.

Felonius Ax in Tampa: Ryan’s Big Night

paul ryan in tampa

Clifford “Felonius Ax” Tasner: Brokerage firms will soon be offering Not-A-Lot-of-Future Futures so investors can put money down on when particular geezers will succumb to the ailments that we don’t cover. So it’s really a win-win. Meaning we win and we win again!

Isaac: The Political Gods’ Gift to the GOP

hurricane isaac

Nomiki Konst: Scrap the Lynyrd Skynyrd concert! Cancel the Michele Bachmann movie screening! Hurricane Isaac is billowing in, forcing the RNC to deconstruct, reevaluate and hone in on its core message: The Future.

Billionaire Dispatches from Tampa: Day One

high heels

Clifford “Felonius Ax” Tasner: Adelson’s got the accommodations next to ours, and for a guy who has made his fortune in casinos, you’d think he’d be a little less grumpy about the stream of Tampa Bay’s famous strippers coming in and out of our suites.

The Know Nothings Gather In Tampa

gop platform

Charley James: When the GOP convention is gaveled to order, America will see the largest collection of anti-knowledge know-nothings to gather under one roof since Pope Urban VIII and his Inquisition minions met to condemn Galilei Galileo for writing that the earth revolved around the sun.