Skip to main content

View image |

As the blizzard of 2015 descends upon us here in the Northeast, the lack of mobility for the next couple of days gives one time to do a lot of thinking. It is now 4:00 AM here in Goshen, New York. As of this moment it's not much of a storm. That's bound to change at any moment. Outside my window there is a light powder covering my jeep. This is strange considering the fact that the nice lady on my television screen is informing me that everywhere is being hammered - particularly in New England. We shall see. The hatches are battened firmly down. Be safe. Be warm.

And while we deal with and contemplate a very real storm, the proverbial poop storm is also making itself known. I was jarred from my reverie early yesterday afternoon when I happily stumbled onto a link to a speech that Sarah Palin gave on Saturday at something called the "Iowa Freedom Summit". What the heck is this twit doing in Iowa? Exactly what every elected Republican who is not a resident of that state is doing. She's going to make a run for it next year. While she didn't actually come out and announce her candidacy, all the signs are there.

It was truly a weird thing to behold. Fascist Barbie was even more incoherent than is usually the case. Watching it, my first inclination was to assume she was on drugs. I wasn't going to mention it but when my cousin, Patricia Cullen, remarked that she has all of the symptoms of some poor soul in the midst of a serious cocaine binge, I thought that maybe I should take note of it after all. If you think I may be exaggerating, I'll provide a link to the speech in its entirety. It's a scream.

The very fact that this completely incurious, idiotic woman was once given the second place on a national ticket is incomprehensible. "What if...." It makes the senses tremble in horror.

My theory is that Sarah Palin must know that she hasn't a ghost of a chance to be elected next year. What she is doing is nothing more than a cynical upping of her "brand" - so to speak. It seems that even the most rabid of right wingers are starting to tire of this utterly silly person. With the new label of "former candidate for the presidency", she will be able to boost her speaking fees some twenty or thirty thousand. The gal is as transparent as a window during a spring sunrise. That's why she's so much fun to watch.

That's not the case as far as the two Ricks (Santorum and Perry) are concerned. They really do believe that the White House is their respective destinies. There's something pathetically endearing about the terminally clueless, you know? I know a few of you will disagree with this, but I think I'm a fairly astute guy when it comes to politics. I'll let you in on a little secret: I might run for the presidency as a Republican next year. What are my qualifications? I have none. In fact only a fool would vote for me - which would, nonetheless, guarantee me a lot of votes in the USA at this sad time in its history. The only reason I've been thinking about running would be as a sick joke. The difference between Rick and Rick and I is the fact that at least I'm intelligent enough to understand that I am utterly unqualified for the office. The same can be said for the non-qualifications all of the right wing wannabes in this comically political season.

I can't believe our good fortune. The prospect of all of them on the same stage trying to tear each other to shreds is too good a vision to be true. Somebody pinch me.

Scroll to Continue

Recommended Articles

The most disturbing thing about the fiasco that the Republican party has become in recent years is the fact that any one of these assholes might very well be living at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in less than two years. Only a year ago I was predicting out loud that George W. Bush would be remembered for two reasons:

  • As the most corrupt, incompetent chief-executive in the history of human stupidity, and....
  • As the last Republican president.

I was also predicting that on January 20, 2017, one Democratic administration would succeed another one. That hasn't happened since March 4, 1857.

At the time I made those predictions I sincerely believed that the American people would not be so foolish as to place back in power the party that dug us into the mess that Barack Obama has spent six years trying to dig us out of. All bets are KAPUT. The GOP-controlled 114th congress will see to it that even more repressive election laws are passed between now and Election Day 2016. Count on it.

President Sarah Palin? Relax. Even the American people wouldn't be stupid enough to elect that blithering imbecile to the White House. Ain't never gonna happen. President Ted Cruz? That's a different story. You don't believe the electorate would send a reactionary yahoo from Texas to the White House? What planet were you living on between the years 2001 and 2009? If they're perfectly capable of electing as president of the United States a screaming idiot like Dubya, Ted Cruz's campaign would prove to be a relative cinch.

Whatever happens next year, regardless of who's nominated at the Republican National Convention, regardless of who is elected in November; 2016 is going to be a most amusing year.

It is now 5:33 AM. The major accumulation of snow we were told to expect just after midnight hasn't appeared. There is still only a light dusting atop my vehicle. Cars now move effortlessly down the highway outside my window. Have we in the Hudson Valley somehow managed to dodge the bullet that Mother Nature aimed at us? Eight hours ago my friend, Nancy Karlovich, said on her Facebook page, "I'm calling it. This storm is going to be a flop." Perhaps she knew something the rest of us didn't.


Tom Degan
The Rant