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Jewish Space Laser Scouts Corp

Scott Prosterman: Now that I have standing as America’s National Schaliyach for the Jewish Space Laser Scouts Corp, I’m accepting applications for the first Jewish Space Laser Scouts Camp, where your children can learn new life skills, and maybe some survival skills too.

Don’t sell Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) short. Sometimes there can be nuggets of wisdom in the utterances of crackpots like her. And she’s to be commended for her prescience in knowing about the Jewish Space Laser Corp, of which I am a part. Who knew she knew? Or who told her?

Truth is, I’ve operated my own secret Jewish Space Laser from the basement of my Satanic Pizza Parlor on the Oakland-Berkeley border since January 21, 2017. (Every word in that sentence sends Republicans into apoplexy.) I hooked into the network right after the 1st Women’s March, which was the only decent one before the Jew-hating, misandrists took the event over. But I digress, other than to say there are very mean and narrow-minded people on both sides.

Hey, I’m an equal opportunity iconoclast. If you don’t believe me read this: Tax ALL churches, synagogues, mosques and “houses of worship,” legit and phony. And this: ALL religions have their ayatollahs with a compulsion to subjugate women, and make them wear degrading costumes. I have detractors throughout the political and religious spectrum. However, I’m told if I live long enough, I might be rewarded for things I was punished for earlier in life.

Now that I have standing as America’s National Schaliyach for the Jewish Space Laser Scouts Corp, I’m accepting applications for the first Jewish Space Laser Scouts Camp, where your children can learn new life skills, and maybe some survival skills too.

MT Greene is one of my detractors; and to be fair, I am one of hers. But she’s full of good ideas and I’m not above poaching good ideas. Thanks to her, I'm the official "Schaliyach"* for the Jewish Space Laser Scouts Corp! *That's a Hebrew word for . . . "recruiter," more or less. Israel used to send a Schaliyach to every Jewish community in America after the 1967 war, to recruit young Americans for the kibbutzim, moshavim, yeshivas, Zionist fantasy camps; and OBTW the Israeli Defense Forces. Local rabbis became their enablers and it went like this: A troubled young man would go to the rabbi with his problems, and regardless of the content the rabbi would recommend, “Leave this shithole country, make Aliyah to Israel, and be fruitful and multiply. Abraham’s first commandment is more important there than here.” Then the poor schlump’s father would call up the rabbi and say, “You meshugah *#&%*$, you told my son to go to Israel, what about my family business? Now I have to recruit new talent and actually pay them, because you recruited him to your cousin’s Kibbutz. Don’t you realize how this will impact my annual gift?”

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Now that I have standing as America’s National Schaliyach for the Jewish Space Laser Scouts Corp, I’m accepting applications for the first Jewish Space Laser Scouts Camp, where your children can learn new life skills, and maybe some survival skills too. I'm teaming up with the Israeli Scouts Program, along with the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts to expand the Jewish Space Laser Corp into every state, city, county, borough and precinct in America. We've got a big job to do, to mitigate the damage done by Cong. David Kustoff (R-TN) and other Jews, who enabled Trump’s effort to overturn the 2020 Election. There’s nothing like contributing to one’s own demise for political gain.

You don't have to be Jewish to join, but . . . they say it helps. Theoretically all scouts must have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah to their credit. Or you can say, “This sounds pretty cool, I want to join,” and you’re in. We’re not as selective as the Orthodox.

One of the problems with Israel is the dominance of the Orthodoxy. It’s like if the Republicans in America represented 20% of the country, but still get to make all the rules and decisions. Oh wait, they’re trying that. But when America develops an effective Jewish Space Laser Corp Shield, that won’t be a problem. We’ll be able to zap any outrage or injustice just like that, and restore some stasis of sanity back to America.

What I want to know though is who outed us to MT Greene, or is she just that smart? Do we have a mole in the Jewish Space Laser Corp, secretly conspiring with the enemy to assure our own demise, as Congressman Kustoff does? Time to fire up the old laser and find out. We’ll zap that traitor soon enough, and then move on to other threats.

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As you see someone already created some nice artwork for the insignia, while we work on the uniform design. Truth is, I lifted it on Facebook and am still searching for this particular co-conspirator. I don’t know anything about art, but I know what I like. Greene doesn’t like art or Jews, but she’s aided and comforted her enemies more than she knows.

H. Scott Prosterman