Saturday, 2 December 2017
Dear Mr. President
The liberal-hoaxer press is always telling us that the key to solving the Russian collusion in the election problem is connecting the dots. And we’ve been trying to do that. But it’s pretty hard. We keep running into denials, refusals, and poor memories. Here’s what we have so far.
Dot #1 – George Papadopopulos: One-time coffee boy who pleaded guilty to lying to FBI, apparently about quality of coffee served to foreign policy advisers: he claimed to have bought Blue Mountain but served Maxwell House, then pocketed the difference. As none of the foreign policy wonks had ever been out of the country, no one tumbled. And as none of those Papadopoulos named (Steven Miller, Sam Clovis, Jeff Sessions) remember him, this dot does not connect. To anything.
Paul Manafort allegedly served briefly as Trump’s campaign manager, but there is no documentation besides a 20-second video of him gliding through an airport.
Dot # 2 – Paul Manafort: Allegedly served briefly as Trump’s campaign manager, but there is no documentation besides a 20-second video of him gliding through an airport. You often confuse him with Steve Schmidt (John McCain’s campaign manager) although their hair styles are different. Indicted on a variety of minor technical offenses, involving parking tickets and library fines. Again, no connection.
Dot #3 – Jeff Sessions: Attorney General who some days forgets what Russians he has talked to, other days that he has recused himself from the Russia investigation, still other days that executive privilege has to be invoked by the president himself – all of no importance except to very picky prosecutors. He sometimes forgets to go home at night and is found the next morning asleep on a pile of shredded documents. Hardly even qualifies as a dot.
Dot #4 – Flynn: Formerly “a good guy” whom James Comey should “let go”, but now a snitch who has “turned on you”. The guy who was always there and knows everything. Hard to forget. An important dot. Well connected, but connected to whom? The court filing mentioned a “very senior member” of your transition team who ordered Flynn to secretly contact the Russians – Reince Priebus? Sean Spicer? or . . . J- - - -? No, couldn’t be . . . so how about . . .
Dot #5 – Chris Christie: A very senior member of your transition team until three days after the election. A really, really big dot! Get him to make a blanket confession, then give him a blanket pardon.
Received by the White House at 3:03 AM EST, 2 December 2017