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At last week's clandestine signing ceremony for the arrogantly-named "Religious Freedom Restoration Act," there was celebratory discussion of how florists could now tell gay couples to take a hike, and the state would pay their legal bills if anyone tried to sue them for denial of accommodations under the Civil Rights Act. How do we know that happened?

Because the anti-gay bigots/don't-you-dare-love-thy-neighbor religious zealots are espousing their outrage over "turncoat" Indiana Gov. Mike Pence (R) now demanding that the legislature send him a "do-over" that specifically exempts LGBT people from the bill the legislature just passed that he just signed into law.

"Was I expecting this kind of backlash? Heavens, no!" revealed Pence. That came in the same press conference where he claimed his new law was "being smeared."

What's that? "It would be helpful to move legislation this week that makes it clear this law does not give business the right to deny service to anyone," said Pence.

Uhh. So, governor. You want to repeal the entire purpose of your new law without repealing it? Riiiiight.

Quite a descent from Faux News asking in a December 14 feature story, "Could Indiana Gov. Mike Pence be our next president?"

That story, in typical Pox News fashion, opined, "Mike Pence is a model of humility and restraint. While some characterize Obama as a failed president, Pence will only label his tenure 'disappointing.' That in itself is in sharp contrast to the hubris, narcissism and self-awareness of Obama."

Isn't it interesting how, when big business threatens to withdraw investment from Indiana solely and specifically because of this new law, it suddenly makes the governor pop the clutch on his brain?

Hold-off the belly laugh for a moment. This is more purposeful than just that.

Isn't it interesting how, when big business threatens to withdraw investment from Indiana solely and specifically because of this new law, it suddenly makes the governor pop the clutch on his brain?

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Sort of. Okay, his inept double-clutching did stall the engine with a big jolt that spilled the coffee in the cup holders. The Starbuck's cups that the barrista wrote "Talk Race!" on the lids; the leftover lids from before they suddenly stopped talking race, like, three days after they started.

Sugar? One lump or two?

It's more interesting how the old-time Republican uber-Big-Business-base will throw the bus in reverse when profit motive is at stake.

Even when they back-over the Reagan-era "God is a Republican" (Pat Robertson quote) base - that fundamentalist / creationist / morally superior / anti-science / anti-anybody-who-isn't-like-Dana-Carvey's-Church-Lady base.

Meanwhile, back to that bus, now running full-speed in reverse (spilling the tea, if not the coffee). Is it doing a Thelma-and-Louise toward a long free-fall?

Look out! Here it comes! Oh! Look! The Arkansas stunt double just jumped out of the way! Cloooose call.

There it goes! Still running backwards in a big cloud of dust. It's got to be obscuring its view of where it's going. Especially with the wrong end leading and careening on like that.

And to think: when that GOP bus goes off the edge, only some of us will be able to send flowers in condolence. Because of the florist thing, y'see...

larry-wines-formal

Where's that Michael-Jackson-eating-popcorn meme when ya need it?

Larry Wines