Former Sex Worker on the Importance of Home
Whenever people ask me why I was able to get out of the life and return to some sort of normalcy I always tell them it was because I had a spirit that could not be broken and a mom that loved me. Included with that mom (who might be the raddest person on earth) was a home. A home that I had had good memories in, where I felt safe and knew that the people in that house would die defending me if it ever came to that.
I had food in that home that I didn’t feel bad about eating. I had a backyard to relax in and enjoy the sun. I had a room to hide in and cry when things got to be too much. I had a computer that I could use for school and to write a resume and job search. I had a television to watch mindless television shows and a couch to curl up on with my family. I had a phone that my friends could call me on and a bed I could count on being there every single night.
These are things so many of us take for granted, but I surely do not. Every day I work with girls and women who don’t have any of these things. Some never have and don’t even know what they are missing in the simple basic comforts of a home and family.
As a former sex worker, I can relate to these girls. Experiences like mine and other young women trapped in this life have been the focus of many articles. You can read one here in a piece written by Rachel Lloyd.
I was fortunate enough to have the comforts of a home and family to return to. And I want to give this to them. I want to be able to offer them a home. I want it to be my home and their home and our home. I want them to never knock on the front door and never ask to go in the fridge. I want them to have a spot on the couch and know that they will always have a bed to sleep in even if it is mine (though I will give them crap if they drool on my pillow). I want it to be an oasis for them and just the smell of the house to ease their tensions and let them know they are safe.
Most of all I want to give them a place to recover like my mom did for me. I think we are making leaps and bounds in getting many of these girls out of the situations that they are in. Out of the hands of their pimps and a life of being trafficked, but now the question where do we go from here? I believe the answer to that is into a program of rehabilitation. There is no other way they can recover and most times that isn’t available to them. I could go on for pages and pages about the exact rehabilitation program I would like to put in place and believe me I have with the powers that can make that happen, but right now I just want to talk about our home.
Out in the country with plenty of room to roam… maybe have some horses… for sure a few dogs… Hardwood floors and a fully stocked fridge (and freezer full of ice cream)… an office with everything we could possibly need…including A LOT of books… a garage full of clothes for “shopping”… a psychiatrist, dentist, and doctor on speed dial on the phone who will always be willing to help us… a garden to make our own salads…. maybe a couple water heaters so we don’t fight over the shower… a big wooden table to eat dinner at every night…
It sounds like a dream, but it is totally doable…there are even a few programs already doing such wonderful work, but you know me…I want to do it my way. I want to be able to say “yes you can stay here” without having to have the girls meet certain criteria. Yes…this means I will need to own the house myself. I am sure there are a million other things I haven’t thought about that will cause me issues, but as long as I can keep thinking about our home I know I can do it.
More Than Purpose