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Startin' tidday, Cooter, y'all kin carry yore loaded fahrarms inta yer fav'rit bar -- heck, inta annybuddy's bar an' even them fancy nightcluhbs. Ain'tit GREAHT? Now when y'all are in thar a-fixin' ta git ahl sloshiefaced, nobiddy's a-gonna mess with yew, 'cuz yew is a-packin', and a-holsterin', and a-strappin' crosst boaf fruhnt AN' back!

Guns Everywhere Law

An' yew don't hafta leave nuffin' in th' gun rack in yer back winder when y'all go in th' libarry ta look at the pitchers in the' latest "Guns 'n Ammo," 'cuz yew can carry in thar now, tew!

'Member how nekkid evvahbuddy wuz feelin' in church, wearing jez them slacks an' shooz an' a buttonup shart an' TAAH? Not this Sundee! Ya'll kin carry in thar', in casin' yer kin gets all rascally an' needs ta be put down afore sewshull haur.

Oh, an when yew pick up them keeds tidday at th' skoooolhaus, yew can pack when yew go in thar fer thet confrance wit thet teechur what keeps complainin' 'bout lil' Buford not payin' no 'tenshun in skoool. See if'n yew hyear any mohre from thet skoool NAOW, huh!

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AIN'T IT ALLLL JES' SO WUN-NER-FULLLLL?!

larry-wines-informal

Ahm gon' celebrate by buyin' me some new shoulder streps and long magazine clips! Wan' git tagathar tanight fer a big reloadin' party? Letz meet in th' bar for attitude a-juz-mint then drahve over ta the libarry 'cause they have clean rezrums, an' thar lawn's bieg 'nuff fer settin' up targets. 'An the skoolz closed-up by thin so if'n we miss we won't hit nobuddy. Leastin' nobuddy we know, huh!

Larry Wine