Sometimes we get caught up in life. Earlier today I was trying to find a video for my Linkedin page. As some of you know, my day job is as a Social Media Coordinator so these things are important to me.
Anyway, I was looking at all of the videos from Abolitionist News You Can Use to put on my With More Than Purpose Linkedin page to test out for my actual work page... (Confusing? yeah...try living it... I have got to figure out a way to integrate my two selves.. but we will talk about that another day)
... So I'm looking at all of these videos and I start ripping myself apart. I have bags under my eyes in that one, I am too skinny in that one, my forehead is too big in that one, my skin is splotchy in that one, my roots look trashy in that one.... I could keep going, but the point is that I started to feel really bad about myself.
My brain is like a boa constrictor. It gets hold of an idea and squeezes it until it is dead and my brain starts going off on these tangents about how ugly I am and about all of the things people must say about me when they watch these videos or any of the other productions I have done. At this point, I am convinced my life is over if I don't whiten my teeth and I am totally in a funky mood. I head home wanting my bed.
When I got home there was a little blue envelope on the kitchen counter. It is from Sara Kruzan. For those of you who don't know who Sara is, check out the video of Sara in this article. I read the letter and instantly there is peace in my soul because of her beauty. This woman has been in prison since she was 16 for killing a man who pimped, molested and raped her.
She has been dealt the most insane injustice you can even imagine. Indoctrinated by a pimp from the time she was 11 and abandoned by a drug addicted mother. We have fought to have her granted clemency, but have only been able to have her sentence reduced thus far...so she is still in prison...where she never should have been in the first place.. and she is talking about how much she loves science.
She talks about looking forward to meeting the girls from STARS and Generate Hope. She thanks me so much for writing and tells me she waits for my letters. She talks about how excited she is about the movement (I don't think she realizes that she has played a much larger role in it than she could imagine...I have never seen so many people come together as they did to fight for her).
Her letter is full of smiley faces and jokes. There is not one ounce of woe or anger and by the time I am finished with her letter I feel as though I have just heard from a saint.... and suddenly... the size of my forehead just isn't that important...
More Than Purpose