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Buy Greenland

Friday, 23 August 2019

Dear Mr President,

@realDonaldTrump . . .

…Denmark is a very special country with incredible people, but based on Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen’s comments, that she would have no interest in discussing the purchase of Greenland, I will be postponing our meeting scheduled in two weeks for another time . . .

@realPMMette . . .
…We had a meeting scheduled for two weeks from now? Really? Must have slipped my mind, big meeting with President of Botswana then. Let’s reschedule for early February 2021.

Definitely no deal now. Sad. I was going to throw in Puerto Rico and all its Mexicans. Cheap labor.

@realDonaldTrump . . .
…Definitely no deal now. Sad. I was going to throw in Puerto Rico and all its Mexicans. Cheap labor.

 * * *

@realDonaldTrump…
…resident Xi wants to quickly and humanely solve the Hong Kong problem (also wheat, soy, electronics), but he doesn’t know how. If I buy Hong Kong, he can have Puerto Rico plus the Rust Belt. Free. Personal meeting?

@realXi . . .

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@realDonaldTrump…
…Something must be wrong with Chinese Twitter. I’m not receiving Xi’s answer. How about this? I show how make deal. I have tickee, you do washee…

@realXi…

* * *

@realDonaldTrump . . .
…Since PM Moodi doesn’t remember asking me to meditate the Cashmere problem, I’m withdrawing my offer to meditate it. Too bad for him – I was going to offer a swap of Cashmere for Puerto Rico, but not now. Moodi is slipping a little, maybe too much time on the pipe…

@realIndiaPM…
…It’s Modi, Kashmir, and “mediate’, not “meditate”. If I wanted the problem with Pakistan mediated, I'd ask Elizabeth Warren. If I wanted it meditated, I'd ask Marianne Williamson. But it would be fun to see Trump meditating in the padmasana position. Buddha like…

@realDonaldTrump . . .
…and I would have explained that Moodi's problem with the Pakis is religious in nature. Very complicated, goes back many years, the way religions do. You have your Hindus and you have your Muslims, and they don’t exactly get along great. But now he’ll have to figure it out on his own.

@realIndiaPM…

dan embree 300

…Oy veh!

Dan Embree

Received by the White House at 3:12 AM EST, 23 August 2019