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Recognizing a Racist

Friday, 8 March 2019

Dear Mr President,

Congressional testimony this week has been pretty damaging, Mr T, but the attempts of your supporters to explain them away have been worse – with one big exception, the ever imaginative, ever straight-shooting Sarah Sanders. Her last press conference proved once again that nothing puts her off her game.

  • CNN’s Jack Smacker: “Sarah, when Secretary Ben Carson says that ‘I recognize a racist when I see them,’ and denies ever seeing Trump do ‘anything that is even remotely racist’, shouldn’t we suspect that Trump might be a real racist, just not in the presence of the only black member of his cabinet?”

The President’s innate delicacy makes him sensitive to the feelings of the people he talks to, only speaking frankly when they’re not around.

  • Sanders: “A snarky question, Jack. The President’s innate delicacy makes him sensitive to the feelings of the people he talks to, only speaking frankly when they’re not around. A real racist just calls a spade a spade while they’re right there. I’m from Arkansas, and I recognize a racist when I see them.”
  • Smacker: “A follow-up – Is it true that the man Trump pointed to at his rally and identified as ‘my African-American’ was Ben Carson?”
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  • Sanders: “Absolutely not, Jack. There are at least six African-Americans that the President claims as his.”
  • Trixie Gavilan of The Western Flicker: “Sarah, did Secretary Nielsen contradict Trump’s claim that most aliens enter the country by sneaking around our walls, when she said that they mostly entered ‘through the air environment’?”
  • Sanders: “Of course not, Trixie. She just meant that they climbed to the top of the wall and jumped down through the air.”
  • Felicity Stiletto of The Beast: “Sarah, when Nielsen was asked how the ‘detention spaces’ differ from the cages dogs are kept in at the pound, all she could say was that they were ‘larger’. Is that the only difference?”
  • Sanders: “Not at all, Felicity. The detention spaces have water bottles. The dogs just drink out of bowls. Also the dogs all have ID tags. We don’t know who a lot of these kids are.”

Sleep well, T. Sarah’s got your back.

dan embree 300

Dan Embree

Received by the White House at 12:02 AM EST, 8 March 2019