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Sunday, 26 November 2017

Dear Mr. President,

presidential trump

In an effort to help you avoid the many political rabbit holes that the complex terrain of international and domestic politics might tempt you to dive into, I’ve constructed a short exercise in distinguishing important presidential leadership actions from petty destructive and divisive ego-maniacal actions. Faced with the following situations, choose what a real president would do:

1. If American college athletes were arrested for shoplifting in China, you should:

A. Work quietly through diplomatic channels to effect their release.
B. Wait to see whether the Chinese courts will be lenient.
C. Brag about getting them released, then wonder publicly whether they would thank you, then tweet, “I should have left them there.”

2. If Kim Jong Un calls you “an old lunatic, human reject”, you should:

A. Ignore his comment as unworthy of reply.
B. Ask Secretary Tillerson to try to start a more constructive conversation.
C. Reply sarcastically that you “would NEVER call him short and fat.”

3. When LaVar Ball publicly questions your role in securing the release of his shoplifting son from a Chinese jail, you should:

A. Ignore his comment as unworthy of reply.
B. Comment that it is only natural for a father to defend his son.
C. Call LaVar “very ungrateful”.

4. When it is revealed that Senator Al Franken groped a woman in 2005, you should:

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A. Refrain from commentary until more is known.
B. Deplore the act, but not the man.
C. Cleverly attack the senator as “Al Frankenstein”.

5. When it is revealed that senatorial candidate Roy Moore groped several teenaged girls in the 1980s, you should:

A. Refrain from commentary until more is known.
B. Deplore the act, but not the man.
C. Endorse Moore because his opponent (who prosecuted the Birmingham church bombers) is “bad on crime”.

6. When a federal court strikes down your orders on sanctuary cities, you should:

A. Declare your respect for the court, even though you disagree with its decision.
B. Pledge to work with sanctuary cities to forge an acceptable compromise.
C. Order the end of special status for 59,000 Haitian refugees.

7. When Chancellor Merkel opts to form a coalition government instead of trying to govern from the minority, you should:

A. Publicly praise her choice to be a unifier.
B. Announce your support for European Unity.
C. Attack LaVar Ball as “a poor man’s Don King” and “an ungrateful fool”.

Dan Embree

Received by the White House at 4:59 AM EST, 26 November 2017

Please circulate. And write him a letter or forward this one to: https://www.whitehouse.gov/contact