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Franklin D. Roosevelt and John F. Kennedy were fatalistic about their personal safeties. Both took the view that if anyone brave enough - and crazy enough - were to take a shot at them, there was not much that anyone (including the Secret Service) could do to alter that grim reality. Ironically, Kennedy made note of this fact on the morning of November 22, 1963 while he was getting dressed in his hotel room in Houston, Texas, anticipating all the fun events that the day had in store for him. Both FDR and JFK would be targets of assassins. Only Oswald would be successful. A funny thing, fate, You know what I'm talking about?

Secret Service Failures

Anyone with a decent sense of history (and that number would include about one percent of the American people) should be alarmed at the recent incidences involving the Secret Service. Reports of these guys drunkenly cavorting with hookers during a state visit to Columbia a couple of years ago; an unauthorized person gaining backstage access to the president a couple of weeks ago; and, most amusing of all, it was just revealed that during the campaign of 2012, a drunken SS man, trying to impress a Romney staffer, revealed the president's itinerary for the coming week - at a time it was still classified. Nice!

NEW RULE: For the sake of the safety of the chief-executive, can we at least agree that from now on, like airline pilots, the president's Secret Service detail shall not drink any intoxicating beverages for a period of at least 24 hours before going on duty. This is what is called "a no-braner".

"We're really in nut country now." -- Jack Kennedy, 11/22/63

We need to come face-to-face with some nasty facts, boys and girls: No president since Abraham Lincoln has been as passionately hated by so many Americans than the first African American to call the White House "home". Only this week, some right wing Facebook page was able to raise $100,000 award money for anyone who would oblige them by "removing" Barack Obama from the presidency. Now everybody put on your thinking caps!

QUESTION: Now just how in the hell does one person "remove" a sitting president from the job?

ANSWER: The same way John Wilkes Booth "removed" Abraham Lincoln; the same way Charles Guiteau "removed" James A. Garfield; the same way Leon Czolgosz "removed" William McKinley; the same way Lee Harvey Oswald "removed" Jack Kennedy.

This ain't rocket science, folks. The treacherous asshole who put up that Facebook page ought to be arrested and put on trial for conspiracy to assassinate the president of the United States. A lot of these freaks have been making ominous statements in the last six years with regard to the mortality of our president, have you noticed that? Vile, horrible utterances. Do you remember this dandy little chestnut a couple of years ago from uber-twit Ted Nugent?

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tom degan

"If the coyote's in your living room, pissing on your couch, it's not the coyote's fault. It's your fault for not shooting him.

The "coyote" in his warped mind was supposed to represent Barack Obama. Another gem for the ages from Rock's Village Idiot.

"Assassination is the extreme form of censorship." -- George Bernard Shaw

FOR THE RECORD: As much as I despised the administration of George W. Bush, I never once - publicly or privately - wished for the hideous little freak's demise. In fact I used to pray that he be kept safe. The last thing the loony right wing in this country needs is the body of a martyr to rally around by torchlight. Spare us.

I must say that it was quite touching to watch the hearings on Capitol Hill this week inquiring into the Secret Service's latest, inexcusable blunder. The very sight of the most extremely right-wing of politicians (Darrell Issa, for example) expressing profound outrage over the fact that a mentally ill veteran was able to walk right in to the Executive Mansion and come too close for comfort to entering the family living quarters was something to behold. Were they really genuinely concerned with the safety of the President and his family? Or was it merely reflexive bitchiness on their part. You just never know with these jackasses.

Not that I enjoy breaking such bad news to you (I really don't - honest!) but it's been over a half century since Dallas. We're almost overdue. I'm just barely old enough to remember that hideous day in American history. This country never really recovered from the assassination of President Kennedy 51 years ago next month. Were any harm to come to this president (of all presidents) I fear that the nation would be shattered to pieces, and that it would take many decades to heal itself - if it ever healed at all.

It is laughably obvious (although I'm not laughing - trust me) that the Secret Service, in their present condition anyway, is not up to the job of protecting the commander-and-chief. A major upgrading and house cleaning is in order and overdue.

tom degan

Tom Degan
The Rant