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Deep within his Breitbart lair, back a couple of years, Dr. Steve Bannon was delighted: he’d created the Trumpster! He’d taken parts from a hyperactive real estate developer, grafted them on to a reality TV star, charged it up with white nationalist juice, and now, now, it lived!

sloppy steve

Control of the world seemed Bannon’s grasp. The plan was to use the Trumpster to destroy everything, so Bannon could start with a clean slate.

He’d programmed it to appeal to the same folks who had liked the reality TV show: mostly whites with too much time on their hands and a deep desire to see people they didn’t like be humiliated. That would be mostly black and brown people, and uppity white women

It was easy. The Trumpster was designed to communicate by tweets to a vast audience of twitterers who would echo every tweet. Every night in the wee hours it would tweet out the day’s orders of what was important, and the twitterers would take up the chorus.

Serious People didn’t take the Trumpster seriously, thus playing into Bannon’s hands. One by one it vanquished first the unserious Republican rivals, then the serious ones. It finally got them all in the same tweeter chamber, echoing its Master Tweets.

However witless the Trumpster was, it knew what it had been programmed for, and it didn’t need Dr. Bannon anymore. It was perfectly capable of destroying everything on its own.

Then it faced the biggest challenge of all: topping Crooked Hill! The remaining Serious People still could not believe the Trumpster could do it, but it deployed its twittering army to take the weak points in the Hill’s defenses.

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Against all the odds calculated by the Serious People, the Trumpster was the President! Dr. Bannon thought it only appropriate when the Trumpster appointed him Chief Strategist, for was it not indeed Bannon’s creature?

For a year, Dr. Bannon was largely successful in getting the Trumpster to do as programmed, in spite of the efforts of Serious People to seize control of it and turn it to their own purposes. The plan seemed on the verge of becoming reality.

Then Dr. Bannon got cocky. He thought he could keep on manipulating the Trumpster to do his bidding, while talking secretly to others about how witless the Trumpster really was. And who would know that better than Dr. Bannon?

Bannon did not think that word might get back to the Trumpster about the mean things the good Doctor was saying on the side. When that happened, though, the Trumpster cast Dr. Bannon into the outer darkness, denying even that Bannon was its creator.

However witless the Trumpster was, it knew what it had been programmed for, and it didn’t need Dr. Bannon anymore. It was perfectly capable of destroying everything on its own. And it didn’t care about what Dr. Bannon wanted to put in place after the destruction. It just knew destruction, and Dr. Bannon topped the list of those to be destroyed.

When Bannon realized that he had lost control of the Trumpster, that indeed the Trumpster could and would destroy him, he begged for mercy. He said he deeply repented the mean things he had been quoted as saying. He vowed that the Trumpster, far from being witless, was all-wise. He hoped the Trumpster would forget all those mean things, and it could be like it was before.

And the Trumpster tweeted, “you treacherous, lying, double-dealing SOB, you’re fired.” And the Chorus of Tweeters confirmed it: they loved the Trumpster, and they didn’t care if Bannon was his creator.

john peeler

John Peeler