President Trumputin (as I call him, as he is joined at the hip or somewhere else with the Russian dictator) has just celebrated one year in office. His Presidency is falling apart, as the spate of suits against him for violating the Emoluments Clause of the Constitution are proceeding, and many Resolutions urging Articles of Impeachment have been filed (all by Democrats) in the House.
Independent Counsel Mueller, installed in this position by Congress after Trumputin engineered his firing as Special Counsel in the Saturday Night Massacre II, has obtained grand jury indictments of several of the President's Men, including Manafort, Stone and Flynn, and trials have been scheduled for the coming months. To do this, he had to reach down to a janitor in the Department of Justice to sign the firing memo, as everyone above him in DOJ had resigned rather than sign it. Talk of granting immunity to one of the three in return for spilling the beans on Trumputin is circulating.
The Republicans in the House are resisting starting impeachment proceedings, dragging their feet outrageously to avoid having the entire Republican Party collapse in a huge 2018 wave election defeat.
The Republicans in the House are resisting starting impeachment proceedings, dragging their feet outrageously to avoid having the entire Republican Party collapse in a huge 2018 wave election defeat. The Democrats in the House, led by Nancy Pelosi, are doing everything they can to force the Republicans to act, but they are in the minority by 24 votes, and few Republicans have so far defected. Many Republican Congressmen have suspended doing town halls in their districts, as they fear physical attacks and rioting by angry constituents.
Trumputin's weight has ballooned to what must be over 300 pounds, rivaling President Taft in his massive girth, given Trumputin's habit of binging on glazed donuts in the Oval Office when he blows up over real or imagined slights. His New York doctor, whom it has been revealed was once suspended from his medical practice for a year for overprescribing amphetamines, has issued another glowing report on Trumputin's health, which again looks like it has been written by Trumputin himself.
Some pundits are talking about removing Trumputin from office using the 25th Amendment, as he seems to be mentally unbalanced at times, but President-in-Waiting Pence and Trumputin's sycophant cabinet have shown no interest in doing this so far.
Meanwhile, after a year in office, Trumputin's agenda has stalled in Congress: no Trumpcare legislation, no walling off of Mexico, no blocking of Muslims from coming to the U.S., no massive infrastructure projects, nothing but the dismantling of a few National Monuments created by former (and now longed for) President Obama. His Administration still has not replaced most of the U.S. Attorneys and Ambassadors he fired in early 2017 shortly after ascending to his gold-plated throne.
On the foreign policy front, North Korea remains a serious world problem, as this renegade state continues to fire intercontinental missiles into the Sea of Japan and massing troops along the border with South Korea. Trumputin has appointed Dennis Rodman as his emissary to North Korea in a bold move to resolve this threat.
After a secret visit of Secretary of State Tillorson to Moscow to meet with Putin, it has been announced that Trumputin will meet with the Russian dictator in a Moscow summit to lessen tensions (and sanctions). Trumputin sent his Russian adversary a signed copy of "The Art of the Deal" to prepare him for the brilliant negotiating strategy our President will use in his negotiations with Putin.
The Middle East remains tense, as the Syrian crisis has expanded to the Persian Gulf. The tensions between Sunni Saudi Arabia and Shiite Iran continue to escalate, enflamed by the reckless comments of Trumputin over the past year. Oil prices have skyrocketed as a result.
ISIS is on the run, but terrorist attacks continue around the world, for which ISIS has claimed responsibility. The Iraq and Afghanistan conflicts continue, with no end in sight.
America's allies in NATO and former dedicated partners such as Canada have started to go their own way in planning their defenses against aggressors and terrorism, having determined thet Trumputin has crippled the United States of America as the major world power.
MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN…