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Friday Feedback: A Grandmother and Her Gay Grandson

I constantly wanted to keep him with me to shield him from the craziness and brutality of a community that looks at gays like they have no right to live.

Fridays the LA Progressive features a comment that was particularly noteworthy. This week we are featuring a comment submitted by Carmen, responding to "What If Your Child Is Gay?" by K. Danielle Edwards.

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Here's Carmen's comment:

I am the grandmother of a 17-year-old grandson that I am raising. My grandson came out at 13 years of age. I remember thinking that this was not something that I dreamed of for him, but even more I was scared for him. We are Black and in our community and also in my family, being gay, at that time, was not eagerly accepted. I constantly wanted to keep him with me to shield him from the craziness and brutality of a community that looks at gays like they have no right to live.

I remember wondering if he had a sexual encounter or was it something that I over looked while he was growing up. Then I thought maybe he was around just women too often. You are right when there is this part of you that wonders if this is just a phase or gender issues. I remember thinking will he out grow this or maybe, just maybe, some aggresive young lady would see this as a challenge and try to conquer him liking young men. Once he had an experience with a young woman, maybe he would change.

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Then I prayed. One thing I knew for sure was that I loved and would love my grandson, even if he was gay. I also realized that I needed to educate myself, so that I could educate others around us, especially our family. His dad, my son, was not receptive and was hurt. He felt that he had done something wrong. I could feel and see his pain. The upside of this was that my grandson felt comfortable enough with his dad to come out to him. To this I felt his was also reaching out for guidance and support.

To date, my grandson, son, and I receive counseling. I am constantly trying to secure information to understand this issue. I want to support my grandson in all of his endeavours. Our family is becoming supportive. I still sometime wonder what has happened that so many young men and women are coming out now. Do you know the answer??