Satire
Herschel Walker Graduates
I want this job, and, to quote a former resident of Siam, there are no finer cats than I am.
t-Rump & Bibi: Fry Cooks or Brain Surgeons?
t-Rump wouldn’t have been a good fry cook or brain surgeon either, but he’s good at what he does. That is if you think sheparding the world to the Eve of Destruction is a good idea.
UN Revokes U.S.A.’s First World Status Designation
Brian Biery: Fox News reported, however, that the Trump Administration had recently applied to the UN for ‘most favored nation status’ and that the president’s inner circle was waiting expectantly for the results of its application as it would be a first for the country.
Now That's Treason!
Tom Hall: What if a nation decides to kill another nation’s soldiers, sailors, fliers, and civilians not with lead bullets shot out of guns, but with bullets of RNA protein strings, wrapped in fat?
Is The CREATOR Interfering in the 2020 Elections?
Kary Love: Today many are anti-science, a “lifestyle” choice made possible because it is backstopped by science. If your prayers and hopes don’t cure you, you can always go the hospital.
Trump Orders Prosthetic Intelligence
John Peeler: Acknowledging the widely suspected Intelligence Deficit in Washington, particularly in the White House, Trump tweeted, “I will be the only president in history to have prosthetic brains!!”
Give Trump Some Credit!
Marc Cooper: Meanwhile, a small gang of Mexican migrants entered my house and tore out the wood floors in FOUR rooms that got soaked when a water pipe burst.
2019: Year of The Poodle
Peter Cavanaugh: With 17 separate investigations crashing in on his Lord and Master, it might not be long before Poodle dangles a pardon for the presidency and finds a ready taker when Donald can no longer duck.
Measure for Measure: The Globalist Plot to Change the Metric System
John Peeler: They’re all out to get me. Now they’re conspiring with 60 other countries to impose the kilogram and deep-six the pound. It’s the GLOBALIST DEEP STATE!
Time We Learn About Stormy and Donald
Liz Estrata: Her explicit descriptions of Trump’s member are in prose. She now needs to share those observations with a graphic artist.
The Russia-Trump Conspiracy Theory Is a Dead Letter: Here’s Why
Ted Rall: Democratic leaders are confused. They’ve got the newspapers and NPR and a passel of cable news stations all over their “Trump colluded with Russia” story. Why don’t people care? Christ, even Democratic voters don’t care!
“Me Too” Bags Another: Disgraced School Chief Quits
Ralph E. Shaffer: Giving only their first names, and with the camera focused on them from the neck down to protect their privacy, each of the shaken women described, in quavering voices, what Farrow had done to them years ago.
Laughin' to Keep From Cryin': Lewis Black Coming to Dry the Tears at a Venue Near You
Jaime O’Neill: Lewis Black was freaking out before freaking out became the norm. He's the living embodiment of exasperation, the personification of what a sane person looks like when driven 'round the bend by the madness we all live with.
Mississippi Moving Capital from Jackson to Memphis
H. Scott Prosterman: Anyone who has read Faulkner or Tennessee Williams knows that Memphis has ALWAYS been the cultural and spiritual capital of the Magnolia State, so let’s go ahead and make it official.
Senators Embedded Within a Brain Fog
Walter Brasch: “Have you now or have you ever led anything and did you ever have any opinions?” asked the committee chair, Sen. Porkbelly Pineapple.
If All Else Succeeds, Be Late for Your Own Funeral
Michael Sigman: Nowadays, you can't watch cable news for 10 minutes without hearing a talking head hold forth with a "having said that," a "game changer" a "double down" or a "walk back."
A Father’s Day Barbeque—Washington-Style
Walter Brasch: It’s Father’s Day, and that means the Great White Republican Hierarchy in Washington smells burnt charcoal and is ready to barbeque some Democrats.
Do the Laws of Robotics Apply to Meatspace Avatars?
Rev. Square: For readers not already acquainted with them, the Laws of Robotics are a 20th century fabulist's attempt to formulate a logically consistent, morally adequate, and reasonably enduring moral code for imaginary, yet-to-be-inventable robots.
Mitt and Paul's Ponzi Pizza Recipe
Jerry Drucker: Mitt apparently now wishes to HARVEST THE UNITED STATES, as he would for a food crop. So in the spirit of Romney’s interests in cooked books, here are some recipes:
Bain Capital Meets Frankenstorm: It's An Ill Wind That Blows No Good
Rich Broderick: In the wake of megastorm Sandy, Bain Capital, which was co-founded by Mitt Romney and where he served as CEO until he resigned in 1999 but didn't actually resign until 2002 when he really meant it, is planning to make a leveraged buyout of the entire Northeast.
Etch-a-Sketch Mitt: Romney Campaign Faces Possible Lawsuit
Rick Broderick: In the case of Mitt Romney, we believe that the candidate has gone a bridge too far in appropriating the Bob Dobbs personality and stylistic attributes,