Some People Say


Some people call it fact, some people call it fiction, some people call it fabrication, some people call it fantasy, some people call it faked and some people call it fu–, well, never mind. We will present the story and let you decide.

“Apparent suicide in anthrax case”
Los Angeles Times headline – August 1, 2008

Shortly after September 11, 2001: Somewhere in an undisclosed location, a bunker lies deep under the White House.

The underground bunker is elaborately furnished and equipped to be fit for a king, or maybe a vice president. A rack of shotguns is on a wall. On another wall there are trophy animal heads mounted on boards. Added to the trophy wall is a head shot (or a shot head if you will) of a 76-year-old white-haired man. There’s a letter of apology next to the head shot from the man asking for forgiveness, for his face being in the line of fire for an alleged quail shot. The letter also states the five martinis that the VP had before the shoot, had nothing to do with the accident.

There’s an oxygen tent, fully medically equipped and ready to accept the V.P. at the drop of a blood pressure reading or a faulty pacemaker.

The V.P.’s desk is a cut down Humvee. A figure of Darth Vader is mounted where the figure of Jesus usually resides on a dashboard.

Above ground, or so some people say, is a small garden with a trellised gazebo. A porcine faced man lifts his rimless glasses and wipes his sweaty face. He looks around to see if anyone is watching, then steps up to a hidden door. Pulling down a thorny branch with a plastic rose on the end, an elevator door opens. The porcine faced man steps in.

As the elevator rapidly descends, instead of elevator Muzack, we hear the sound of the Devil’s laughter loudly resonating in the small chamber.

Inside the bunker: A door from the tunnel opens as the porcine faced man steps in.

V.P.: “Come in Turd Blossom.”

KR: “Isn’t it hot down here?”

anthrax_suspect.gifV.P.: “Exactly 72 degrees. Down to business. Good job on all your talking points. Nine-eleven is our gift from heaven. It’s the Pearl Harbor we’ve been looking for and we’re now on the road to Baghdad and Tehran. My Project for the New American Century will work perfectly. We’ll have control of the Iraq oil fields and soon as we do, the companies will have access to them. We’ll have permanent bases in Iraq and nobody can get us out. From there we can control the entire middle-east. Iran will be next.”

KR: “Did the leaked oil field maps showing the division of Iraqi oil do much damage?”

V.P.: “The American people are scared shitless. They’ll believe anything we tell them. The Energy meeting was secret. We’ll catch the guy who leaked, and we’ll make an example of him. Rummy and I have set up an Office of Special Operations and we have some beauties coming up.”

KR: “I assume that’s why I’m here. To coordinate with your guys and set up the Media.”

V.P.: “That’s why you’re here. This one tickles my timbers. The boys at Fort Detrick have created an anthrax that can kill a person through the U.S. mails. Since Jeffords puked on us and gave Senate control to the Democrat, we can now be able to make them pay just by sending letters to our two top enemies.”

KR: “Can’t the anthrax be tracked down to its origin?”

V.P. “Of course, but we’ll say we sent some to Iraq years ago, when they were good guys.. Iraqi terrorists did it. Will have Straight Shooter McCain go on Letterman after the attack and say he’s has it on good authority, Iraqi terrorists did it. Even though we smashed the crazy guy up hard in the Primary, he wants to be president more than anything, so he’ll say and do anything we ask.”

KR: “Beautiful. What if one of those bio guys rats on you?”

V.P.: “What would you do?”

KR: “I’d find a fall guy.”

V.P.: “We have more than one fall guy. One of them has worked for the South African Government against Mandela, really my kind of guy, but business is business. We have a back up guy who is crazy, but he’s registered as a Democrat. People buy the crazy label. If necessary, there’s always our Suicide Enforcement Agency. Dead men don’t talk. I just love being the Master of Disaster.”

KR: “We are free to do what we do best. Impeachment is off the table. Nobody to stop us. Tell them to go {deleted) themselves. I better get to my smearing’.”

V.P. “By the by. Buy Bayer stock, big time. Cipro is the only antibiotic that treats anthrax. It’s only available from Bayer’s and they’ll be making a huge killing. Of course we’re receiving it free and those ‘we the people’ suckers are paying $125 for a treatment. Multiply that by a hundred million and see what you get.”

Fast forward to July 27, 2008

Stephen Hatfill, American physician, virologist and bio-weapons expert. The piratized Bush Justice Department identified Hatfill, a government scientist, as a “person of interest” in the anthrax attacks. He had worked with the South African government against Mandela, so he could be a non-sympathetic suspect. FBI raids on his home were well-attended by journalists and news networks. He was considered the most likely suspect, to be the Anthrax Killer. Hatfill sued the government. On July 27, 2008, the government settled for $5.8 million.

Four days later, investigators announced the anthrax attacks were carried out by a mentally unstable government scientist, Bruce Edwards Ivins, who acted alone and killed himself when he discovered he was under investigation.

LA TIMES – August 1 – “Apparent suicide in anthrax case”

LA TIMES – August 2 – “Suspect stood to gain from anthrax panic”

LA TIMES – August 4 – “Anthrax mixture led FBI to Ivins”

LA TIMES – August 7 – “FBI reveals trail that led to scientist”

V.P.: The Suicide Enforcement Agency guys have made a sea change in the way we do business. Crazy is still being bought by the people.

KR: We have proved President Lincoln wrong. You can fool most of the people all the time.

jerry_drucker_head.gifSo there you have the facts and fictions. It’s up to you to decide.

by Jerry Drucker

Reprinted with permission from the Valley Democrats United newsletter, Margie Murray, Editor, where the article first appeared.

Jerry Drucker is a freelance writer and screenwriter, political progressive letterwriter, member of Valley Dems United, Dems for Change and Valley Grassroots for Democracy. Jerry was voted as the 41st AD man of the year for 2008 by the LA County Democratic Party members.

Recent articles by Jerry Drucker:

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