Are you married or soon to be married? Are you worried that your sex life is going to change? Don’t worry about it. Sexuality isn’t a single event but a lifetime of growing and learning and challenging your preconceived notions of what sex is and what pleasure can be. If you are thinking that you need to change, make sure you specifically understand what you either don’t want, want more of, or want to change. Being general as in, “I am not happy with this”, can be troubling and common but can’t be solved. It is the first and necessary step to a better sexual experienced, but you will need to put in some thinking time to truly change. Just remember; it is worth it.
Are Sex & Marriage Mutually Exclusive?
You may think that as soon as the ring goes on, the sweatpants are soon to follow. This is far from the truth.
You may think that as soon as the ring goes on, the sweatpants are soon to follow. This is far from the truth. It is a reality that our sexual drive can be affected by our age. As we aged, generally “pleasure” can be accomplished via not just sex but solid cuddling or even spooning. We learn that life is more than sex. However, sex is still an important part of the post marriage life of a couple. In many ways, sex after marriage can be much better than pre-marriage sex.
Why? Sex isn’t perfect the first time. It takes experience and multiple attempts to truly get it right and trust the other people enough to fully open up and relax. Often women aren’t able to climax as well as they would like until they are in a committed relationship. Mistakes in the bedroom will happen. That is to be expected, but don’t let these road bumps keep you from evolving sexually with a partner that feels the same way. The first step is to ask yourself if you are sexually satisfied.
How Much Sex Is Too Little Sex?
Too little sex can lead to sexual dissatisfaction. However, too little sex is only one aspect of the problem. The other side of the problem is what is going on in the bedroom. Maybe you only have sex once a week, but it is so good, that is all you need. Or, maybe you are having sex every night, but it is so weak you never feel satisfied.
Here the amount of sexual moments isn’t the driving factor of satisfaction. Rather, it is the connection between the individuals that is truly defining the quality of the sexual partnership. Alexandra Fine, the credentialed sexologist over at Dame Products, excellently describes the necessary sexual connections couples must have.
Communication is key to any successful project in life, period. It doesn’t matter if you are making bread or making babies, if you can’t communicate, you can’t get off. What is it about the bedroom exercises that is getting you down? Is it really the amount of sex or is it the quality? Here are a few questions to ask yourself when you are thinking about what you need to improve your experience.
- Who initiates the bump and grind session?
- Are you in the mood originally? If not, why not? Can you get into the mood?
- Who controls the arousal sessions?
- Who takes it into the penetrative parts?
- Do you lead? Maybe you should lead, or let your partner led if the setup isn’t right.
- Are you using toys? If not, maybe you should be.
- Are you trying new things? If not, maybe you should be.
There is always a level of communication that could be further explored. It just takes time and patience. Speak openly and fully to your partner.
How Much Sex Is Too Much Sex?
Well, what a terrible problem to have, too much pleasure. Without being sarcastic, too much sex can be a problem if it is taking away from the other priorities in your life. Too much sex can also be highly painful, uncomfortable, and cause soreness in your active zones.
Too much of anything can be a bad thing. It is good to understand what you are giving up or what you are missing due to the amount of sex. A good balance of life and sex is a great challenge but worth the effort and with the conversation with your partner about your sexual future.
The conclusion to sex after marriage is that it is going to be great. It can be great, and it will be great. You need to focus on your needs and your partners feelings. Sex is an intimate act. It can be fun and exciting, but it needs to be mutually enjoyed. Talk it through and you will start to grow as a couple and grow sexually.