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Toxic Oil Sludge Is Good as Gold for Republicans

Jerry Drucker: The gloomy, ghastly, glutted, gutted Gulf will not be able to supply many millions of Americans with food, or clean and healthy resort beach fronts, or Gulf businesses, perhaps for decades. What's the solution to this mega problem?

The reckless, for profit only, $BP Toxic Oil Sludge Corporation (Person) has murdered the shrimp, lobsters, oysters, all species of fish, birds, dolphins, sea turtles, whales, seals and the 3-million-year-old extinct walruses that are dead or dying in the Gulf of Mexico. As to the human cost of lives and livelihood, we may never know.

black bath

The gloomy, ghastly, glutted, gutted Gulf will not be able to supply many millions of Americans with food, or clean and healthy resort beach fronts, or Gulf businesses, perhaps for decades. What's the solution to this mega problem? $BP Corporation (Person) told our U.S. government they had solid and foolproof plans (lies) in case of an improbable (45-50% probable) accident from the deep-water drilling well. Well, the first thing $BP (Person) would do in case of the improbable (probable) accident, is call a deep-water expert Scientist. (5 years dead - as the British, our old and apparently new enemy who may be seeking revenge for losing a war to us said: "Actually we tried to knock the scientist up, but he didn't answer, actually.") One of the methods $BP used to stop the spill (eruption) was a small submarine that accidently knocked down a Top Hat (or as the $GOP protectors would have it - an act of God) and intensify the blow out eruption of the mega oil volcano.

As to the $Republicans, $Karl Rove explained that every major disaster provides an opportunity to attack the Democrat. Simply put the blame on the Democrat. The $Republicans feel their answer is a question. The $GOPeer's are asking: "Isn't this moderate (massive historic) oil spill (blowout) an act of God (manmade accident) and not an irresponsible, greedy, reckless fault of $BP Oil Management as the Democrat claim? (Wait a minute! If this was an act of God, how come the $GOPeer's didn't blame the $BPeer's for knocking up (calling) a dead Scientist? Don't they realize along with the Tea Baggers, the $GOPeer's are now $Creationists? No science, please!) (Oh, and don't pay attention to the science $BP uses to extract the oil a mile or two at the bottom of the sea- since it is God given)

Let all the $Plutocrat $Republicans who are so protective of $BP and so against our U.S. Government and President, eat the toxic oil sludge. OK, so they won't eat the toxic oil sludge, then let them figure a way to dispose of the nasty stuff and give it back to $BP. Perhaps it would be more effective to place bags of the toxic oil sludge on the doorsteps of all $Congressional $Republicans and the traitorous $Blue Dogs. After all, one of their $oil soaked $Plutocrat $GOP leaders, $Senator Joe Barton, feels that the puny $20 billion that $BP is putting up is nothing but a "shakedown" for the foreign, Gulf of Mexico ravager $Corporation, which (who?) is now a $person. However, a 'just say no' negative obstructionist $Plutocrat $GOPee'r $Barton, has only received $1.4 million from the $Big Oil Industry for his own personal "shakedown," so far. Probably $Plutocrat $Barton has another $5 million coming from $BP, plus a promise of a $BP $2 million a year $Lobbyist job when he retires at the end of his term.

Now that the 'tar balls' have hit all five Gulf States, it should make it easier for $Texas to secede from the U.S. The state has a new item to export. Call them Gulf Balls. $Texans can sell the Gulf Balls to burn as a bug repellent, or to replace the famous $Texas road apple. Just make sure humans don't breathe in the fumes, but since it's an act of God accident, don't bother to put any warning label on the package. Landlocked oil soaked $Oklahoma, unfortunately can't get the Gulf Balls, so $Texas should share.

Let's examine the sort of corporation (person) the $GOPeer's and $Blue Dog Democrats are so fiercely protecting against the "General Welfare" of the United States of America and "We the People." $BP (Person) is still fighting to not pay for damages caused by the horrific 2005 Texas oil refinery fire and explosion, when 15 of their oil workers were killed. The $BPeer's had already calculated it would be cheaper for the workers to die, than to have to make the mandated safety fixes that had been demanded. $BP (Person) had the worst safety record in the $Oil Industry. Putting the image remaking problem to their $PR firm, $BP came up with an answer. Become the alternative energy giant for the $Oil Industry. Great idea. Put all the slick alternative energy commercials all over the air waves and $BP doesn't have to put a dime into actual alternative energy development. ($BP didn't -- think about the young American guys who now work for $BP, saying how the $Oil giant is doing such a great job in cleaning up the environment - A sad and bad joke that keeps on giving to $BP and the $Big Oil industry. After all, we U.S. taxpayers still give $billions in welfare subsidies even after huge record profits by the $Oil Industry. (Outrageous, but the $GOPeer's won't budge)

The continuing $BP oil dipstick: Hey, why not use the same methods as the $GOPeer's with lies, misleading and false facts flowing from their 24/7 'talking points' that are as strong a flow as the horrendous oil volcano $BP created. (Er...ah, God created?) $BP bought the concept. Daily, $BP will get the word out that they are closer to fixing the 'spill.' 'It really looks like we can stop it.' 'Well, we're going to try something else now.' 'It now appears we'll be able to stop the main flow and then rely on the relief well to be completed in August, or maybe September.' - Wait! The flow has been capped. Associated Press: "If the cap holds, if the sea floor doesn't crack, and if the relief wells being prepared are completed successfully, this could be the beginning of the end for the spill. But that's a lot of ifs." (always leave the suckers with 'hope')

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Enter Corexit- Corexit is a distillant, (oil dispersant) highly toxic to human and marine life. A recent article suggests that $BP has already used a million gallons of the killing stuff. The EPA asked $BP to stop using the horrid Corexit and the $Oil company (person) told the government agency to 'stick it.' $$Exxon and $BP own Corexit. Two ways that $BP makes a profit using Corexit. A huge profit from the million gallons of the stuff. Secondly, the fine to $BP would be $43,000 a barrel of oil released into the sea. So far that's $6-8 billion saving by spoiling the oil so it can't be counted.

In conclusion, or better stated, in collusion, the $GOPeer's have wrapped themselves in their altered bloody and oil splattered UnAmerican flag. BY openly trying to bring down our U.S. government and our democratically duly elected President, using lies and false facts just like Hitler, they are hand in hand with the International Terrorists who have the same goals.

Therefore, $Republicans should be labeled as Domestic Terrorists, with their allegiance to international corporations (persons), corporate corruption, racism, torture, destroying our U.S. Constitution, allowing our Supreme Court to make laws, allowing $GOPeer's to break U.S. laws with no consequences, cutting unemployment money, controlling our public airwaves like Hitler and lastly stealing elections by privatizing our election system.

The biggest $GOPeer lie! $THE BUSH TAX CUT WON"T CAUSE THE DEFICIT TO GO UP $3&1/2trillion$DOLLARS! There is not time or space to enumerate all of the ways the heartless, greedy and lying $GOPeer's have trickled on the United States and destroyed a once mighty nation.


Jerry Drucker

Jerry Drucker is a freelance writer and screenwriter, political progressive letter writer, a member of Valley Democrats United, Democratic Club of Camarillo and Valley Grassroots for Democracy. A graduate of the UCLA Film School . Jerry was voted as the 41st AD Man of the Year for 2008 by the LA County Democratic Party members.

Published with permission from the VDU Newsletter, Margie Murray, editor.